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[Note - a few years old, and a search didn't reveal either a copyright or an attribution. Earliest claim I could find was dated Aug 1993 by drow@mindvox.phantom.com - ed]

AD&D Monster Manual IV

Barney 





CLIMATE/TERRAIN:        Nine Hells, Gehenna, Hades, The Abyss, PBS 
FREQUENCY:              Very rare or daily at 4 pm 
ORGANIZATION:           Solitary 
ACTIVITY CYCLE:         Day 
DIET:                   Little children's minds 
INTELLIGENCE:           Insipid (-12) 
TREASURE:               Merchandising contracts 
ALIGNMENT:              Purple evil 



NO. APPEARING:          1 (may be attended by 1-100 Barney zombies, see below) 
ARMOR CLASS:            10 (big and plush) 
MOVEMENT:               3 
HIT DICE:               8 
THAC0:                  12 
NO. OF ATTACKS:         2 
DAMAGE/ATTACK:          1-10 (x2) 
SPECIAL ATTACKS:        Hug (damage 3-30) 
SPECIAL DEFENSES:       Aura of intolerable idiocy 
MAGIC RESISTANCE:       90% 
SIZE:                   L (8' tall) 
MORALE:                 Stupid (30) 
XP VALUE:               4,000 

  Barney is a demon from the lower planes, a great purple and plush deformed 
dinosaur.  It is the enemy of intelligent lifeforms, eternally seeking out 
small children and feeding on their natural intelligence and curiousity. 

Combat:  Barney will normally attack with it's two great paws, each 
inflicting 
1-20 points of damage.  If a victim is struck with either paw and fails a 
saving throw versus paralyzation, they are dragged to Barney and may be hugged 
next round.  A hug inflicts 3-30 points of damage each round until the victim 
or Barney is killed. 
  Barney may also utter a 'Power word I love you' once every three rounds. 
Any adults hearing the power word must save versus spells or flee in terror 
for 1-6 rounds.  Any child hearing the power word must save versus spells or 
be controlled by Barney.  He or she will thereafter follow Barney's commands 
with a delightful smile, and is subject to continued brainwashing.  Each 
day that a child is in Barney's control they may be taught another lesson by 
Barney, decreasing their intelligence and wisdom by 1.  When either stat 
reaches zero, the child becomes a mindless Barney zombie!  Barney zombies 
follow his commands with love and a delightful smile, and eagerly spend gold 
coins on Barney merchandise. 
  Barney is constantly surrounded by an aura of intolerable idiocy.  Any 
individual within 20' must save versus spells once per round or lose 1 point 
of intelligence.  When intelligence reaches zero, the victim falls to the 
ground in a quivering, gibbering wreck.  Intelligence may be regained at the 
rate of 1 point per day afterwards.  In addition, the aura tends to make 
spells go awry, tactics to fail, and mundane items to become intelligent 
with their own insipid personalities. 

Habitat/Society:  Barney resides in a great temple and television studio on 
the lowest plane of the Abyss, with areas extending into every lower plane 
and prime material plane via transdimensional gates.  He is constantly 
surrounded there by 1-100 Barney zombies clutching plush dolls and lollipops, 
which they may use as +2 maces in combat. 

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