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Internet News Flash (Andrew Darling)
(topical, smirk, swearing)

This is an Internet News Service news bulletin:

The Menendez brothers were found guilty today in the retrial for the 1989
murder of their parents.  While the first trial ended in a hung jury, this
one reached an early conclusion.  Trial analysts blame the defense
attorney's attempt to rally sympathy for the brothers citing that they were

Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan has been openly criticized by members
of Congress for speaking against the United States in his recent trip to the
Middle East.  Farrakhan visited Libya, Iran, Iraq, and Sudan on this tour,
giving Anti-American tours every step of the way.  That's right folks, due
to this man's interference Libya, Iran, and Iraq no longer look on us with
that motherly glow they've always had.

At a press conference today, Republican Bob Dole vowed to work with President
Clinton to hammer out a balanced budget plan within two weeks...again.

News Flash: Generallissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.  Ironically,
there's more action going on in this angle than with the budget.

The General Motors strike has now idled 175,800 workers causing a loss of
$50 million dollars a day for the company.  The strike is over the security
of jobs for union workers.  While the company is insisting that the best way
to secure one's job is to, in fact, do it, this has held little weight with
the union leaders.  There was a moment of management-worker unity earlier
today, however, when the two groups began stoning the visiting government

A panel of three federal judges is gathering tomorrow in Philadelphia to
judge the Communications Decency Act.  This law, meant to prevent the spread
of obscene material over the internet, has been claimed by the ACLU to be
unconstitutional and unenforceable.  Until the trial is completed, this
fucking law is under injunction, goddammit.  Live it up.  I hear at least two
of the judges are tight-assed.

This has been an Internet News Update, staff writer Miles Kilgore reporting

*Should anyone wish their name removed from this list or another name added,
I may be reached at

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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