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Microsoft Child for Windows (Chris La Mantia)
(topical, smirk, offense=Microsoft fans)

I wish I could take credit for this list, but it was written by my friends 
Andy, Bill and Michael (last names withheld to protect the guilty).

For the first time in, oh, a decade, I think, something from Microsoft 
shipped on time: Jennifer Katharine Gates, weighed 8 pounds 6 ounces 
when she was downloaded, er, born on Friday, April 26 at 6:11 p.m. 
And what do Baby Gates and Daddy's products have in common?
1.  Neither can stand on its own two feet without a LOT of third party
2.  Both barf all over themselves _regularly_.
3.  Regardless of the problem, calling Microsoft Tech Support won't help.
4.  As they mature, we pray that they will be better than that which
    preceeded them.
5.  At first release they're relatively compact, but they seem to grow and grow
    and grow with each passing year.
6.  Although announced with great fanfare, pretty much anyone could have
    produced one.
7.  They arrive in shaky condition with inadequate documentation.
8.  No matter what, it takes several months between the announcement and the
    actual release.
9.  Bill gets the credit, but someone else did most of the work.
10. For at least the next year, they'll suck.

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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