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Republican Convention Digest (Funny Guy)
(topical, smirk, sexual, heard it, offense=conservatives)

Below find a few American political quickies, largely inspired by the
Republican National Convention, taking place in San Diego as we speak - ed.

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From: (John Berger)
Subject: Original, Polital/TV

Thought of this one in the shower today....

Last night, while watching television, I got to choose between Fox's 
remake of the '60's Irwin Allen TV show "The Invaders", or the first 
night of the Republican National Convention.  

One show featured ugly creatures with no morals who thrived on pollution 
and wanted to turn the human race into mindless zombies who followed 
their every order. One of the main characters kept trying to tell 
everyone that aliens were invading the country, but others said that he 
was crazy and should be locked up.  

The other was a science fiction movie.

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From: (Szymon M. Rusinkiewicz)
Subject: Are Republicans out of touch with America?

The cover of this week's Time magazine features Bob Dole and Jack Kemp
 ... and a headline that reads "Life on Mars"

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From: (Dr Nancy's Sweetie)
Subject: Education President 

In between talking about improving American, the Republican Party ran a
film during tonight's convention meeting on PBS.  It had the word "Freedom"
repeated several times, and at one point a graphic read:

	land of the pilgrim's pride

Sadly, they didn't say which individual pilgrim they had in mind...

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From: (Andreas Ramos)
Organization: NETCOM On-line Communication Services (408 261-4700 guest)
Subject: Life on Mars!

Scientists at Stanford have been able to detect traces of life in a 3.5 
billion year old Martian meteorite.

Science has however NOT been able to detect any traces of life in the 
Republican presidential campaign.

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From: (Julie Lundquist)
Organization: PAOS, University of Colorado
Subject: What the Republicans stand for

>From the Catt's Claws feminist newsletter (contact

According to one of my readers, it is understood that the
Republicans are considering changing their emblem from an elephant to a
condom because a condom stands for inflation, halts production, encourages
cooperation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives one a sense of security
while screwing others.

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From: (Thomas Andrews)
Subject: Surprising evidence on Mars

In a last-ditch effort to convince Congress to fund a trip to the red
planet, NASA has informed Al D'Amato that crucial Whitewater documents
are, in fact, on Mars.

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[And from the other camp... - ed.]

From: (Eric Schoonmaker)
Subject: political humor

Regarding a vice presidential debate between
Jack Kemp and Al Gore, Bob Dole said:

"It would be like a conversation betwen a 
 quarterback and a goal post."

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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