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New Government Regulations Announced (Daniel Maller)
(topical, smirk)

(AP) Washington, DC 11/1/96

Today the Food and Drug Administration announced a series of sweeping new
regulations aimed at curbing the appetite for chocolate, and the surgeon
issued a warning that chocolate is harmful to health.  In a related story, the
state of California filed suit against seven major chocolate producers for
reimbursement of what they claim are billions in health expenses caused by the
dependence on chocolate, and accused Hershey and Marsof concealing studies that
showed the psychoactive and addictive properties of several chemicals contained
in natural cocoa beans, and manipulating the levels of those chemicals.
Presidential candidate Bob Dole said he didn't like chocolate, while President
Clinton weighed in on the side of chocolate.  Ross Perot proposed to ban the
importation of Cocoa beans.

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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