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Translating Southern United States to English (rajesh vaidheeswarran)
(chuckle, regional stereotypes)

This is not mine. I don't know who the author is, but it is quite funny.


Translating Southern United States to English

 BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
 Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

 JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
 Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."

 MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
 Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd
 from him in munts."

 IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni."
 Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"

 RANCH - noun. A tool.
 Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my
 brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

 ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
 Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup

 FAR - noun. A conflagration.
 Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my
 pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."

 BAHS - noun. A supervisor.
 Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back
 to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"

 TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
 Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a
 flat tar in my pickup truck."

 TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
 Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to
 see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

 HOT - noun. A blood-pumping organ.
 HOD - adverb. Not easy.
 Usage: "A broken hot is hod to fix."

 RETARD - Verb. To stop working.
 Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65."

 TARRED - adverb. Exhausted.
 Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."

 RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.
 Usage: "We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats."

 LOT - adjective. Luminescent.
 Usage: "I dream of Jeanie in the lot-brown hair."

 FARN - adjective. Not local.
 Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn

 DID - adjective. Not alive.
 Usage: "He's did, Jim."

 EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).
 Usage: "He can't breathe ... give 'em some ear!"

 BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
 Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

 JU-HERE - a question.
 Usage: "Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson
 recently toured the University of Alabama?"

 HAZE - a contraction.
 Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert."

 SEED - verb, past tense.
 VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun.
 Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"

 HEAVY DEW - phrase. A request for action.
 Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?"

 GUMMIT - Noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution.
 Usage: "Great ... ANOTHER gummit shutdown!"

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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