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Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a maddening passion for baked
beans.

He loved them but they always had a very embarrassing and sometimes
lively reaction on him. Then one day, he met a girl and fell in love.
When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself,
"she is such a sweet and gentle girl, she would never go for this kind of
carrying on." So he made the supreme sacrifice...he gave up his beloved
beans. They were married shortly there after.

Some months later, his car broke down on the way home from work and it
was his birthday. Since they lived in the country, he called his wife and
told her that he would be late because he had several miles to walk home.
Being a little hungry, he stopped at a cafe.

 Before leaving the cafe, for his birthday, he treated himself to three
large orders of baked beans. All the way home he putt-putted and upon
arriving home, he felt reasonably safe that he had putt-putted his last.
His wife seemed somewhat excited and agitated to see him and exclaimed
"Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for dinner tonight!" She
then blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the head of the table.
He seated himself and just as she was ready to remove the blindfold, the
telephone rang. She made him wow not to touch the blindfold, until she
returned, and ran off to answer the phone. Seizing the opportunity, he
shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but was
as ripe as rotten eggs. He took his napkin from his lap and vigorously
fanned the air about him. Things had just returned to normal when he felt
another urge coming upon him. So, he shifted to the other leg and let go.
This was a prize winner. While keeping his ear on the telephone
conversation in the hall, he went on like this for ten minutes until he
knew the phone call was ending. He placed his napkin on his lap and
folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly to himself, he was the
picture of innocence when his wife returned. Apologizing for taking so
long, she asked if he had peeked; of course he assured her that he had
not. At this point, she removed the blindfold and there was the surprise....

Twelve dinner guest seated around the table for his surprise birthday
party..................

    (found on rec.music.phish, deserved a shot on r.h.funny)

        Chris Menocal

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