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Invest with Orange County now! (Gary Koerzendorfer)
(topical, smirk, government, original)

      Invest now with Orange County! The Treasury of Orange County
          has opened its services to the individual investor!

Features include:

* 10% return in the past. Of course, returns are not guaranteed and are
  subject to change. Read the prospectus carefully before investing.

* Recent shortfalls in performance were caused only by the presence of
  illegal immigrants employed in the Treasurer's office.

* Top deficit-fighters from the Reagan and Bush administrations have
  been brought in to advise.

* A one-time tax will be enacted on the three Democrats in the county.

* A bail-out package from Willie Brown is expected imminently.

* While in bankruptcy, the County won't be paying for the Pentium 
  systems used in managing the portfolio!

   [for non-California residents: Orange County, a conservative
   Republican stronghold, just declared bankruptcy because risky
   investments went sour; California voters recently passed a ballot
   initiative restricting basic state services to illegal immigrants;
   and Democrat Willie Brown, Speaker of the State Assembly for 14
   years, is engaged in a bitter struggle with Assembly Republicans to
   retain his position]

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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