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An Obscene Phone Callers Worst Nightmare! (Tracy Schuhwerk)
(original, smirk, true)

[Originally posted to alt.shenanigans]

   I don't know if this qualifies as a "shenanigan" or not, but last
   I night had some fun with an obscene phone caller!

   Before reading this, I have to tell you that I am a male.  Having
   the first name Tracy leads to stuff like this happening from time
   to time...

   [ Some names have been changed to protect the ignorant ]

   The Scene:  
      3:30 in the morning, my bedroom... last night. I'm dead asleep!
      You hear the ringing of a the phone right behind my head on the
      head board.


   Tracy:  <Blink> "Huh?" 


   Tracy (picking up the phone): "Hello?"

   Mysterious Caller: (In a deep raspy voice) "I want to lick your [fill 
   in the blanks here]"...

   Tracy (mind still fogged with sleep): [Silence]

   [Click]  The phone hangs up...

   Tracy (looking at his caller ID system): "Cool..."

   I get up and jot down the phone number... This is where the fun

   Since I am now awake and will need a few minutes to get my blood
   pressure back down to somewhat near normal, I decided to have fun
   with the obscene caller!

   I went down to my PC and fired it up... tossed the US Residential
   Phone Book CD ROM for the mid-west into the drive and did a quick
   search on the phone number I jotted down from the caller ID.

   Within seconds, I had the name and address attached to the number!
   Michael Smith, 837 Appletree Lane... Got it... This is going to be

   After jotting down the information, I grab the phone...


   (A familiar voice answers the phone... it is the person who called me
    just minutes before)

   Michael: "Hello??"

   Tracy (In a well practiced "Voice of Pure Evil"(tm)): "Hello Michael,
   remember me?  You wanted to lick me..." [CLICK]

   (The "VoPE" is best described as James Earl Jones having a "Bad Voice

   I waited about 5 minutes... and picked the phone up again...



   Michael: "Uh, Hello??"
   Tracy (using the "VoPE" again): "837 Appletree Lane, Michael... I
   know where you live!" [CLICK]

   One more time... waiting about 5 minutes... I pick up the phone...




   Michael (voice a bit shaky): "He... Hello???"

   Tracy (once again, the "VoPE"): "I'm coming for you Michael!" <CLICK>

   I went back to bed... :-) 

   I think Michael might have had trouble doing that himself!

   Isn't technology GRAND!  :-)

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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