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George Bush, Master Debator (Maddi Hausmann)
Society for Putting Things On Top of Other Things
(topical, funny, original)

[Due to randomness of rhf's posting software, this was not posted 
 before the debates began.  And yes, Brad has to approve my work! -ed.]

Concessions George Bush got from Bill Clinton in agreeing to debate:

1.  Gennifer Flowers is the single moderator
2.  Bush wears his WWII uniform during all appearances
3.  Bush campaign staff have five opportunities during telecast to
      place "He's Lying" disclaimers on TV screen while Clinton speaks
4.  Clinton must wear cheap toupee
5.  Clinton may not mention either of the Vice-Presidential candidates
6.  Clinton's remarks may be cut off if important play occurs during
      World Series game
7.  Of the three debates, one will be on Family Values, and one on
      The Draft.  The third will cover any other topic needed.
8.  Clinton must prove he can put a lit joint in mouth without inhaling
9.  Clinton may not mention any issues that may compromise national
      security (e.g. Iran-Contra, the CIA, BCCI, money paid to Saddam
      Hussein or Manuel Noriega, Desert Storm, Patriot Missiles, etc)
10. Bush may, at his option, have Arnold Schwartzenegger appear in
      his place

Concessions George Bush got from Bill Clinton for the Vice-Presidential

1.  Dannye gets a five question handicap
2.  Absolutely no spelling questions
3.  Gore may not refer to his book at any time, since this would
      put Quayle at a disadvantage.  If Gore discusses the environment,
      it must be from information from other sources.
4.  At least two questions must concern golf rules
5.  At least two questions must concern the 1992/93 season premiere
      episode of _Murphy Brown_
6.  There will be no questions about what the participants would do
      if they had to take on Presidential responsibilities, as this
      is a Vice-Presidential debate
7.  There will be a panel format.  The panel will contain Pat Buchanan,
      Jerry Falwell and Roger Ailes.  The moderator will be Marilyn
8.  Any subject that Gore has a unfair advantage over Quayle, due to
      his exclusive private schooling, must be answered by Gore standing
      on his head and drinking a glass of water
9.  The swimsuit competition counts for at least 50% of the debate
10. Dannye, if uncomfortable with any question, may choose to "take
      the dare" instead of telling the truth

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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