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Re: Cryin' baby express ... what to do? (Claudio Sheepdog)
Assurdo Softechnologies/Childcare Inc
(original, chuckle)

Trouble with tetchy infants on long flights?
Is junior drowning out the roar of the jet engines?
Are other passengers passing you "Shut him up or he learns to skydive" notes?

If so, Assurdo Childcare have the answer for you!


Baby Bag (tm) is a large, soft sack moulded from real polyethylene! Its
twin thicknesses of Assurdo's patent Insulofoam (tm) ensure that while the
noise level inside the bag may exceed 140dB, no sound is audible outside
the bag. So if junior insists on screaming his little heart out, just pop
him in your Baby Bag (tm), close the handy Seel-Tite (tm) fastener and
enjoy the rest of your flight in silence.

Baby Bag (tm) is ergonomically designed and available in a variety of
colours to match most luggage. The tough real polyethylene exterior means
that Baby Bag (tm) can safely be stored in unpressurised cargo holds,
should your flight be overbooked. Baby Bag (tm) has also been carefully
sized so that it will comfortably fit in overhead luggage lockers and/or
underseat luggage storage space. Baby Bag (tm) even comes complete with a
moulded handle and clip-on wheels, allowing you to keep your child with you
in busy airports while keeping your hands free.

Baby Bag (tm) comes with a number of optional extras.

Dual Baby Bag (tm) comes with two compartments, rendering the care of
twins just as easy as if you had only one child. The two compartments are
separated by a layer of Insulofoam (tm) allowing one child to sleep while
the other screams.

Baby Bag Deluxe (tm) adds a whole host of extra features, including a clear
Perspulex (tm) view panel to allow baby to look out/you to look in, and a
realistic leather effect coating made from real polyethylene.

New Improved Baby Bag Deluxe (tm) has all the features of Baby Bag Deluxe
(tm) but makes those long flights even more comfortable for junior, through
the addition of our revolutionary Airholes (tm).

Also Available...


Kiddie Bag (tm) extends the Baby Bag (tm) Total Care Concept (tm) to
encompass older children up to age five. In addition to being larger,
Kiddie Bag (tm) comes complete with a full set of internal restraining
straps, an opening for the easy administering of sedatives and a small hand
pump fitment allows the pressure in the outer layer to be increased, making
the Kiddie Bag (tm) rigid and thus allowing even the most hyperactive
little darlings to remain seated throughout the flight. Catheter fitments
ensure that even if your child should need to answer the call of nature,
there's no need to undo all those handy straps or depressurise the bag.
Combined with Baby Bag (tm), Kiddie Bag (tm) is the ideal way to make your
family holidays more bearable.


Now Spot can have fun and yip away to its heart's delight without
disturbing anyone! Just seal him inside the Yippy Dog Ball (tm), secure the
seals and pump it up. Once Yippy Dog Ball (tm) has been properly inflated,
your pet can run around and play while making as much noise as she likes
and, due to the patent Insulofoam (tm) layer, you won't hear a thing. We
regret that, due to difficulties in the manufacturing process, Yippy Dog
Ball (tm) does not come with the view panel option, but we're sure Spot
won't mind the occasional bump.

Assurdo Softechnologies/Childcare Inc - where your problems help our profit.

    Claudio Sheepdog - Product Manager Assurdo Softechnologies/Childcare Inc - "Your problems are our responsibility"

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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