A collection of quotes from Professor Ralph Noble, a professor of psychology here at RPI. Specifically, these were taken from his Psychology of Motivation class, Fall semester 1991. --- "As undergraduates, you realize that cleaning is very cost-ineffective, and why would you bother?" "If you're salt-deficient, you'll go lick the sweat off your significant other...there are other physiological drives that will cause the same behavior." "They've got drive-by shootings in Philadelphia now. Where they park to reload, I don't know." On Siamese Fighting Fish: "They're beautiful, they're elegant, they're vicious as hell...there's a real life lesson here somewhere." "If I could go through the dorms and shoot people, exam pressures would be put into perspective." "As you approach 4.0, study time approaches infinity." On Oprah Winfrey's income: "$83 million? Oprah and I do basically the same thing. Stand in front of people and abuse them." On 'the totally suffering individual' (i.e. no food, no oxygen, no water, no self-esteem, no safety, no friends, no money, sick and in pain, etc.) "You can't do this with people, which takes all the fun out of life." "20 scared-out-of-their-gourds 3 or 4-year olds is an example of what I'd like to do to some of you who are really getting on my nerves." "In the spirit of today, when I'm handing out the exams, we're going to further examine the totally suffering individual." "No beer? I think that comes under 'sick and in pain.'" "We're going to talk about sex--you're going to talk about sex, because I can't remember." "The only sense I can make out of having kids is it's a good way to become a grandparent." "Men stare at those parts of the female anatomy which carry the subcutaneous fat necessary for childbearing and lactation. This is not news." "Look at this [dollar bill], for those of you who haven't seen [one] before." "If money stopped buying things, I'd lose interest in it." On fear-reduction techniques and how they can be used to make a bad relationship last: "If I could use these techniques as well as I can explain them, do you think I'd be here? And if I was here, I'd look a lot more tired and happy." "They don't let us beat students anymore, but my fantasy life is my own business." "Supposedly, it is possible to score goals [in field hockey]. However, this rarely happens because hitting people is so positively reinforcing." "Usually shooting a professor in the head ticks them off, but sometimes they'll say 'Thank you.'" "At 100,000 feet up, you're talking serious, serious long underwear and oxygen." "I've been in the academic world a long time...I can sleep with my eyes open, which is an important skill for those of you considering jobs in middle and upper management." "I learned to put the [toilet] seat down...it makes you look like a warm, caring, sensitive human being." "You bring someone home, say 'Hi, Mom, this is so-and-so,' she immediately knows everything except which side of the bed he sleeps on." "She's human...well, she's a lawyer, but reasonably human." "We're going to assume a few things about reality. One, it exists. That's not a necessary assumption, but I find it comforting." "There are a lot of reasons to skydive. It does take your mind off your problems." "There was some brilliant work done with rats, which makes it scientific." "There are two universes: for males, and for females." "In the US, males are a minority and should be treated and protected as such." "Most divorces are just a four-year-long date with a little bookkeeping." "Happily ever after...there are some people who have achieved that, for the moment." "Is another way to put this 'All men are crazy?'" "I may be more of a romantic than some of you, so feel free to throw up if you have to." "Let's assume the semester's over, so dying is a bad thing." "A college professor is someone smart enough to get a Ph.D., but too crazy to make a living." "There's a large amount of evidence saying that the man's point of view is largely irrelevant." "Sean Connery is the sexiest man alive? Was I on the list?" "You watch a talk show recently? They're doing one next month on a normal, happy heterosexual couple, assuming they can find one."
(From the "Rest" of RHF)