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Cucumbers vs Beer (Richard Murnane)
(chuckle, sexual, original)

We've heard all the reasons why Beer is Better than Women, and
why Cucumbers are Better than Men. Its about time we had

                    BEER vs. CUCUMBERS!

Reasons Why Beer is Better than Cucumbers

You can't get drunk, no matter how many cucumbers you eat.

Beer bottles don't get sprayed with pesticides

Beer bottles don't shrivel up and grow mouldy if you leave
them in the fridge for a month.

Beer is always in season.

Beer removes unsightly flab and wrinkles (on the person
you're looking at, if you drink enough of it :-)

Eating cucumbers to forget doesn't work.

Reasons Why Cucumbers are Better than Beer

Cucumbers won't give you a hangover.

Cucumbers have fewer calories.

Your wife won't complain about you sitting around all day
    watching TV and eating cucumbers.

You can grow your own cucumbers without buying lots of equipment.

Your wife won't complain that your breath stinks of cucumbers.

You can eat as many cucumbers as you like, and drive home later.

You can open a cucumber using only your teeth.

Having your face slashed with a cucumber doesn't hurt (much).

You can eat the whole cucumber, skin 'n' all.

A cucumber won't shatter if you drop it on the ground.

You can shake up a cucumber, and it won't explode when you bite it.

You don't have to worry about getting cucumber stains on your clothes.

[The cucumbers seem to take it on numbers. So why do I prefer beer?]

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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