With all of the check writing problems Congress-Critters are having now Intuit, the makers of the best selling home finance software Quicken, would like to introduce their newest in a line of financial software: Congressional Quicken Congressional Quicken is a new version of Quicken written specifically for Congress people who have trouble keeping track of their financial status. With Congressional Quicken we took regular Quicken and redesigned it with a much simplified interface (we know our clientele). Congressional Quicken has features specifically designed to make sure that the Congress person can never become overdrawn or face the embarassment of overdrafting a check. (Thereby avoiding the rath of the lowly voter.) Here is what a normal Quicken account might look like: ============================================================================== |Date | Check # | To/From: | Debit | Credit | Total | | 282.51| ============================================================================== |03/12| 192 | To: Grocery Store (food) | 87.33 | | 195.18| |03/15| DEP | From: Work (salary) | | 135.66 | 330.84| |03/17| 193 | To: Credit Card | 450.00 | | -119.16| ============================================================================== Notice how check 193 caused the total to go negative (a cash flow reversal), this could never happen with Congressional Quicken. Here is a sample from one of the top Congressional seats that uses Congressional Quicken: ============================================================================== |Date | Check # | To/From: | Credit | Total | | 158932.21| ============================================================================== |03/12| 192 | To: Grocery Store (party) | 2153.45 | 161085.66| |03/15| DEP | From: Bribe (salary) | 5625.00 | 166710.66| |03/17| 193 | To: Credit Card (party) | 8321.88 | 175032.54| ============================================================================== Enhanced features of Congressional Quicken: No debit column - Everything is counted as a credit. Makes it much easier for the busy Congress person who now doesn't need to worry about the headache of subtraction and when to "borrow" from one column. Expanded Credit and Total columns - No more worry about how to squeeze in those extra numbers when the next pay raise rolls around. All this and many, many more features for the unbelievably low price of $7995 Cash only. No checks, no credit cards, no exceptions. (we know that regular Quicken is only $79.95, but hey this is a government thing) Order now and you will also receive our highly acclaimed pop-up TSR: Budget Busters Yes, Budget Busters, the very same program that is used by such overpaid, under-responsible US executives as: a former-president of United Way, who had this to say about Budget Busters, "With out Budget Busters I could not have earned $460,000 as the president of a charity. It helped me to hide my salary for years and I won't even talk about the perks that it helped me to get." a CEO of IBM, "Do you really think that I could have helped IBM lose as many millions of dollars as I did, blast my employees for being lazy, and give myself a 17% pay raise without the help of Budget Busters." Many executives at GMC, "Budget Busters helped us to dole out $80 million in executive bonus's while our company was going down the tubes." Resolution Trust Corporation (RTC) handling the S&L bailout, "Without the help of Budget Busters could we say 'What $7 billion?'"
(From the "Rest" of RHF)