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This is original; it may not be funny to real adults who have never seen Pee-Wee's Saturday morning show; my excuse is that I've got kids;

[scene opens in Pee-Wee's playhouse]

Chairy: "Hey Pee-Wee, why don't we tell the boys and girls today's secret word?"

Pee-Wee: "Good idea Chairy; let's ask Conky!"

[Pee-Wee giggles impishly, and skips across the room to Conky, the robot]

Pee-Wee: "What's the secret word today, Conky?"

[Conky rattles and stutters for a moment, and a card pops out; Pee-Wee holds it in front of the camera for all to see...]

Pee-Wee: "Well boys and girls, today's secret word is HANDJOB!; you all know what to do whenever anybody says the secret word--scream as loud as you can!; let;s give it a try; (pause) Hey Conky, how come robots can't give themselves a HANDJOB?"

[children scream, yell, cheer]

[a knock at the door; Pee-Wee skips over and answers; a black man dressed in overly-flamboyant western garb with a cowboy hat appears]

Pee-Wee: "Why, its Cowboy Curtis, everyone; Hi, Cowboy Curtis!"

Cowboy Curtis: "WOOOO--WEEEE!; I just had me one hell of a HANDJOB, Pee-Wee!"

[children scream, yell, cheer; Pee-Wee giggles impishly]

Pee-Wee: "Why don't you tell the boys and girls at home all about it!"

[Pee-Wee is interrupted by someone barging through the door]

Pee-Wee: "Hey, boys and girls, it's Miss Evonne, the most beautiful woman in all of puppet land; My, Miss Evonne-- you seem to be showing more cleavage than usual today (giggle giggle)."

Miss Evonne gushes: "Why yes, Pee-Wee; I was hoping Carlos would stop by"

[a knock at the door; Pee-Wee expects Cowboy Curtis to get it, but he seems to be involved in a little game he's discovered with Globe-y; Pee-Wee skips over and opens the door; a young Hispanic man, dressed in Soccer-player garb; close up of Miss Evonne gushing, and wetting her lips...];

Pee-Wee: "Hey, everybody, it's Carlos..."

[Pee-Wee is interrupted by Miss Evonne who rudely squeezes past him, to get closer to Carlos]

Miss Evonne: "Hi, Carlos; (gush gush) I was hoping you'd drop by; you know, its been a while since I've had a decent HANDJOB;"

[children scream, yell, cheer; Carlos blushes; Pee-Wee giggles impishly]

Carlos: "Well, you are the most beautiful woman in all of puppet land... maybe you could give me a HANDJOB first, si?"

[children scream, yell, cheer]

[another knock at the door; Miss Evonne bounces over and answers; an older black man dressed in a stunning outfit with a crown, and a middle-aged woman dressed in surfing-movie garb of the 60s]

Pee-Wee: "Look, boys and girls; it's Miss Renee and the King of Cartoons!"

Miss Renee: "Well... I always knew you people were swingers..."

[attention focuses on the King; the king postures, throws his arm in the air and exclaims his royal decree:]

the King: "Ladies and Gentlemen; Boys and Girls; Let the HANDJOBS begin!!!"

[children scream, yell, cheer; Pee-Wee giggles impishly; story deteriorates to a low-budget porn flick.....

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