Here are more snippets from the one liner file. While preparing RHF, I collect short jokes that aren't quite worthy of an individual posting in the one liner file. Every so often I put digests of these out to the group. (Beware that some readers, such as NN, will mistakenly present all these items in the digest as individual articles. Undigestification is a stupid kludge, but you have to live with it.) These short items may contain swearing, mature themes and stereotypes. = = = = = = = From: Ernie_Gorrie@mindlink.UUCP (Ernie Gorrie) Subject: Another Car Ad We'll Never See Here's another car ad we'll never see: For the fourth year in a row (1987-90) the Camaro is the most stolen car in the USA. Fourteen of the 20 most stolen cars in the USA in 1990 were GM products. (True Facts). = = = = = = = From: email@example.com (Stephen Walton) Subject: Communication The following is a real sign in front of a small building here at CSUN: DEPT. OF COMMUNICATIVE DISORDES = = = = = = = From: gilesm@bird.UUCP (Giles Morris) Original (as far as I know): The next big scandal headline... "Neil Bush Admits Serving on Iraq's board of directors" = = = = = = = Subject: An original joke (mine). From: mcnamarJfirstname.lastname@example.org (John McNamara) Here's a joke, original, mine: Q: What's the problem with the Chinese water torture? A: An hour later, it doesn't bother ya anymore. = = = = = = = From: UOG01002@vm.uoguelph.ca (Brian Switzer) Subject: France -> England tunnel I heard this on _Comic Strip Live_ last night... So they're building this tunnel between France and England. England drives on the left side of the road. France drives on the right side of the road. That's going to be one busy lane!!!! = = = = = = = From: IRVINMJ@wsuvm1.csc.wsu.edu (Michael J. Irvin, WSU, 509/335-0437) Subject: Heck with it! Source: A colleague at Dept. of Infomation Systems in Olympia, WA. Know what HECK is? It's where people go when they don't believe in GOSH! = = = = = = = From: email@example.com (Bil Roth) Subject: and then my Mom said.... My mom said this the other day: "You know, there's somebody in town that has Alzheimer's... but I can't remember who it is." = = = = = = = Organization: Drew University From: firstname.lastname@example.org Subject: Hit and run Just one that I've been thinking about at this early hour of insomnia "Hit and run means never having to say you're sorry" A friend Roy = = = = = = = From: email@example.com (Dilip Barman) Hi - This is a cute pun that I came up with a few months ago. What does a hippopatamus have to come up with in order to get a Ph.D.? A hippo-thesis!! = = = = = = = Subject: Re: for the one-liner file; milli vanilli From: firstname.lastname@example.org What's a Vanilli? 2000 guys lip-synching poorly. = = = = = = = From: IRVINMJ@wsuvm1.csc.wsu.edu (Michael J. Irvin, WSU, 509/335-0437) Subject: Rhythm of the Saints Source: An original A comment concerning Paul Simon's newest album, "Rhythm of the Saints:" It seems to me that if you're a Saint, you don't need Rhythm, and if you use Rhythm, you ain't no Saint! = = = = = = = Organization: Contact Public Unix BBS. Toronto, Canada. From: ndallen@contact.UUCP (Nigel Allen) Subject: Weedless Wednesday Heard on radio station CFNY-FM: Joseph Stalin... smoker The Dalai Lama... non-smoker Fidel Castro... smoker Mother Teresa... non-smoker Coincidence? I think not. Brought to you by your pink-lung friends at CFNY. = = = = = = = From: EGWILLB@indsvax1.bitnet Subject: names Of unknown etiology, though known to be infectious. Who was Penis Robinowitz? Cock Robin before he changed his name. Regards to all - will barratt = = = = = = = From: email@example.com (Alan Marc Gallatin) Subject: Great for Macintosh haters What's the best way to accelerate a Macintosh? At 9.8 meters per second squared = = = = = = = From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Kevin Carhart) What did the cup of coffee say to the man? Let me shake your hand. = = = = = = = From: email@example.com (Michael Rasmussen) Subject: Life is like a penis . . . When it's soft you can't beat it. When it's hard you can get screwed. = = = = = = = From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Cliff Stoll) Subject: Lord of the Disks Nine megs for the secretaries fair, Seven megs for the Hackers Scarce, Five megs for the grads in smokey lairs, Three megs for system source; One disk to rule them all, One disk to bind them, One disk to hold the files, And in the darkness grind 'em. signature file of Andrew Cole, email@example.com Forwarded to rec.humor.funny by Cliff Stoll, firstname.lastname@example.org = = = = = = = From: email@example.com (Nick Holloway) Subject: Life, the Universe and Everything Organization: Computer Science, Warwick University, UK Here is something I thought of recently: The answer to "Life, the Universe and Everything" is not 42 -- this is just an integer approximation. = = = = = = = Subject: the Dsylexic & light bulb joke From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Fred Buhl) My own original joke (unless some other cretin's come up with it too). Q: How many dyslexics does it take to change a light bulb? A: Eno. Fred Buhl, UF computer science dept. email@example.com = = = = = = = From: INGRAM@usmcp6.UUCP (JONATHAN INGRAM) Subject: original, Star Trek TNG What was the phrase Tasha Yar hated the most? "Insufficient Data" ;->
(From the "Rest" of RHF)
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