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Judge Thomas Digest
(various, digest, sick, sexual stereotypes)

Here is a digest of the lesser jokes on judge Thomas.  Please note that
some may find some of these jokes in bad taste.

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Subject:      Thomas Hearings

There was some fear that the re-opened Thomas hearings would have to be
postponed.  It seems that Professor Hill's explicit sexual testimony was
getting Senator Kennedy overly excited.  The Senator has begun mentally
recalling the previous night's baseball playoff game to ebb his feelings.

- From Rush Limbaugh, Radio Talk Show host.

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Subject: New Evidence in Thomas Hearings

This is original, although fairly obvious.

The recent Senate confirmation hearings have brought out a fact that civil
liberties groups have long asserted. . .

Clarence Thomas is a hanging judge.
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Subject: Clarence Thomas, Senate, semi-original

(Adapted from a conversation with a friend:)

Is lack of a sense of humor a requirement for being a Senator?  I was watching
the Senate Judiciary Committee's hearings on Anita Hill's allegations of sexual
harassment by Clarence Thomas.  As she described how he boasted about his penis
being larger than normal, I waited in vain for the committee members to ask, in

     "Why, how large was it?"

Some people just can't pick up their cues.

Paul Mailman
Billerica, MA
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Subject: Judge Thomas and his office equipment
From: (Lisa Wolfisch Nyman)

During the examination of Judge Thomas' former secretary, one of the
questioning senators asked Did he use a dictaphone?

On the closed captioning appearing on my screen, the typist
inadvertently wrote something a bit different.  

Did he use a dick to phone? was the interpretation.
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Subject: sexual harassment
From: (Gil Crouse)

Jack Diamond a self described "radio personality" on MIX 107.3 
radio station in Washington, DC in talking about sex harassment 
in the work place urged women to stand up for themselves because 
guys will be crude sometimes. Then he said:

     Guys are like dogs, you have to whack them on the nose 
     with a newspaper sometimes and say, 'You don't pee in 
     here, go outside.'

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Subject: Clarence Thomas joke
From: jeffl@sybase.UUCP (Jeff Lichtman)

You can blame me for this one, since I made it up myself:

	Q: What is Clarence Thomas's favorite drink?

	A: Coke with a twist.

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Subject: Lawyers and judges
From: (Geoff Allen)

While pondering the Clarence Thomas sexual harassment accusations this
morning, a thought struck me:

	Obviously, someone is lying, and lying big-time.

	We don't know who it is that is lying, but the implications

	If Clarence Thomas is lying, he is definitely unfit for the
	United States Supreme Court.

	But if Anita Hill is lying, is she simply demonstrating her
	skills as a lawyer?

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Subject: Sexual Harrassment

Original - but obvious.

Q:  Has Anita Hill ever been the victim of harrassment?

A:  She has now.

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Subject: Was it really sexual harassment?
From: (Bill Henderson)

Overheard at Clarence Thomas' office on April 17, 1980

Thomas: "You know Anita, I think that I have the largest staff of any
	of the guys in my graduating class."

Overheard at Clarence Thomas' office on April 25, 1980

Thomas: "Anita, I'd like to keep you on my staff for a really
	long time."

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Subject: The Truth is still hidden

Original, as far as I know.

So, we've heard day after day of testimony, heard from both sides of the
issue, took a vote, and still the truth is elusive.

Just how should one pronounce "harassment"?

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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