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Coup Leader's Handbook

robert@hemingway.UUCP (Robert Plamondon)
(smirk, topical)

The scene:  Moscow.  The time: mid-August.  A group of high-level
officials meet in a smoke-filled room.

YANEYEV:  	Gentlemen, is agreed that we must throw out Gorbachev.
	 	But how?

KRYUCHKOV:	Is no problem, comrade.  I have instruction manual!
		Is "KGB Guide to Overthrowing Soviet Government,
		Revised Edition, 1963. 'Available fine bookstores
		everwhere. 50 rubles.  In this fact-filled new
		edition, KGB experts describe how anyone...'"

PAVLOV:		Skip to good part, comrade.

KRYUCHKOV:	Here it is. 'Five steps to a successful coup.
		1. Arrest leader and announce that he is ill.
		2. Seize TV and radio stations to suppress news.
		3. Crush opposition.'

YANEYEV:	What about democratically elected officials?  FAX
		machine?  Foreign correspondants?  World opinion?
		Foreign aid? General strikes?

KRYUCHKOV:	No, is nothing here about that.

PAVLOV:		Must not be important, then.

YANEYEV:	No, I suppose not.

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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