The following bulletin was composed by Sonia Bot with some (small) help from myself. The events depicted below are TRUE. I have eliminated the hotel name so as not to be involved in legal hassles. Diane MacMartin Bell-Northern Research email@example.com ======================================================================= bulletin: from: Sonia Bot and Diane MacMartin subject: Travel Tips As some of you may already know, Diane MacMartin and I attended the Computer Human Interaction (CHI) Conference in New Orleans last week. Diane and I agreed to cut costs by being room mates, booking great seat sales, and diet on granola bars. Our trip was an adventure that we'll certainly never forget! Although it was very successful, we thought it would be wise to pass on some tips for business travel... So, if you ever find yourself in any of the following situations, just keep your composure and think... Situation What to do... --------- ------------- You arrive in New Orleans and Simply ignore the bordello. Find as you drive up to the front an alternate well lit and well entrance of your hotel, you notice used entrance to the hotel. In a bordello across the street... the morning, take a foto of the bordello so people back home will believe you! You and your room mate are fast Make sure the rape chain is on the asleep. All of a sudden you are door and go back to bed. Complain awakened since someone claiming he to the front desk in the morning is a maintenance man is pounding and get a $10.00 discount on your on your door, wanting to get into room rate. your room. You telephone the front desk to ask what is going on. They tell you they want to get into your room because the person in the room next door is locked out, and hotel maintenance wants access to your balcony to jump across to the next one. You look outside your window and don't see any balconies... You and your room mate are fast Call the front desk to ask what is asleep. All of a sudden you are going on. Make sure the rape chain awakened since someone claiming he is on and go back to bed. Complain is a maintenance man is pounding to the front desk in the morning... on your door, wanting to get into your room. He says your toilet is causing a flood in the room below. We didn't even use our toilet... You and your room mate return to Notify the front desk. Notify them your hotel room after a long day again after half an hour. Notify at the conference. As you enter, again after an hour. Threaten that you notice the toilet is stuffed you are about to wet your pants. with towels... Complain to the front desk in the morning... You and your room mate return to Notify the front desk. Wait a your hotel room after a long day couple of hours. Put on your at the conference. As you enter, gloves and throw the dirty pile you notice a pile of dirty linen out into the hallway. Complain to on the TV counter... the front desk in the morning... You and your room mate are fast Call the front desk to ask what is asleep. All of a sudden you are going on. Make sure the rape chain awakened since someone claiming he is on and go back to bed. Complain is a housekeeping man is pounding to the front desk in the morning... and yelling on everyone's doors... You and your room mate decide to Learn to sing the "Gilligan's go on a 3 hour sight seeing cruise Island" theme song. Get on your on the Mississippi River. A hands and knees and pray really hurricane comes into town during hard. the cruise... You and your room mate attend the Leave early. Go back to the hotel CHI reception on the Steamboat room to read up on the next day's Natchez. It is pouring rain... paper presentations. It is pouring rain and the area Go out and buy a voodoo doll, and is flooded. You recall Brian cast a spell on Brian...!!! Carlson teasing you that he hopes it will rain during our stay in New Orleans... You and your room mate are Move fast to the next street. Stay shopping for souvenirs in the away from streets that are lined French Quarter. You then notice with stakes adorned with horse that you are one of the few women heads. on the street that is not a hooker... You and your room mate are on Nonchalantly, pick up the alligator, a cypress bayou swamp tour. and get your room mate to take a The tour guide dares you to foto for proof. Then throw it back pick up and hold onto an into the bayou. alligator... It's time to check out of your The front desk already knows you hotel... well. Emphasize those dark circles under your eyes. Accept the room discounts and waivers for all long distance telephone calls. You are a few blocks from the Curse and swear alot. The car will airport. Your rented car keeps eventually start before your plane stalling, and your mini skirt is takes off. packed at the bottom of your suit case... You spent a week in New Orleans (What do you expect from an during the Jazz and Heritage airline that serves granola bars Festival. You are flying back for breakfast!) home and notice that there is no jazz band playing on the plane... Although we are being humourous, we'd like to remind you that when on business travel, things may not always go smoothly. You may recall the numerous incidents in Toronto's hotels last year, where someone would pose as hotel staff, and lure guests to opening their doors, only to attack them. Just remember, never open your hotel room door unless you are absolutely sure who is on the other side. You may wonder why we didn't check out of our hotel after our first incident. Short of finding a safe alley and living out of our car, we could not find any other accommodations in the city since there were no vacancies due to other conferences and the Jazz and Heritage Festival. I found myself in a similar situation in Halifax a few years ago when I presented a paper at a Medical and Biological Engineering conference. Keeping your head on straight and approaching these situations with good humour will help make the trip a successful and enjoyable one. We did this, and we'll fondly remember this trip as an adventure. But, we must admit, we did get on our knees and kiss the ground when we arrived in Ottawa! Sonia-Bot & Diane-MacMartin P.S. We did make an appearance at the CHI conference! Stay tuned for our technical trip reports... P.S. Do not stay at the xxxxxxxx Hotel in the New Orleans suburb of Metairie) even if it is an official hotel for the conference you are attending.
(From the "Rest" of RHF)