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Why guitars are better than women (Jeff Beck)
(sexual stereotypes, maybe, rot13, original)


(please note, I have eliminated the obvious copies like, "you can have a
 guitar all month long", and "a guitar doesn't care how many guitars you own")

1.  A guitar has a volume knob
2.  If you break a guitar's G-string, it only costs $0.79 for a new one
3.  You can make a guitar scream as loud as you want it to
4.  You can unplug a guitar
5.  You can finger a guitar for hours without it complaining it wants more
6.  Other people can play your guitar without it getting upset
7.  You can finger a guitar in public and get applause, not arrested
8.  You can have a guitar any color you want and noone will care
9.  If your guitar gets loose, you can just tighten up the strings
10. If your guitar doesn't make sounds you like, you can change pickups
11. You can use four fingers at a time on a guitar
12. If your guitar strings are too heavy, you can just get a lighter set
13. You can have a guitar professionally adjusted to your liking
14. If you scratch a guitar's back, it's unintentional, not required
15. You can go to a guitar shop and play all the guitars you want for free

Now, for the opposite:


1.  Women are more fun when the power goes out
2.  You can't get your guitar wet
3.  Ever try to screw a guitar?
4.  The input to a guitar is only 1/4" (ouch!)
5.  A guitar won't beg to be played
6.  It's no fun to tie your guitar to a bed and spray whipped cream on it
7.  When playing a guitar, you can use your teeth, but not your tongue
8.  Guitars aren't very aggressive
9.  A guitar won't play you back
10. You need two hands to make a guitar scream
11. A guitar won't scratch your back
12. A guitar won't drive you home if you're too drunk
13. A guitar doesn't care who plays it
14. You can't play two guitars at once
15. You can't fall in love with a guitar (awwwwwww, gee, how sweet ;-)
    (well, maybe you can, but they can't love you back)

These are my own.  I get sick of regurgitated ones.  I hope you like them.

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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