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USENIX and UniForum dress (James Lee Johnson)
Capital Area Central Texas Unix Society
(original, funny, unix)

Tired of being snubbed by bearded longhairs who refuse to discuss important technical issues with you because your clothes are too neat? Frustrated by marketing people who won't provide you with essential information because your shoes aren't shined? You need the UniSuit, the only suit designed exclusively by Unix experts in Texas for the intense fashion demands of the annual joint USENIX/UniForum conference.

Just slip into a restroom and in less than five minutes the beautiful, conservative wool suit is converted into an appropriate outfit for the next USENIX session. The comfortable UniSuit UniShoes with Vibram(TM) soles convert quickly to shiny dress shoes or scuffy, rugged mountain hikers. UniSuit slacks are wrinkle resistant wool blend on one side and faded and patched denim on the reverse. Other UniSuit components reverse to assorted garments of random colors and patterns, guaranteed not to match. Just add your own T shirt statement, and you fit right in with the USENIX crowd. Necktie may optionally be worn as a headband. UniSuit available in grey or navy wool blend. Women's UniSuits available in time for UniForum '92.

Also available is the optional UniPack. This fine executive satchel converts into a colorful backpack.

Don't spend valuable time trying to overcome a first impression. Wearing a UniSuit allows you to focus on the real reasons you attend the USENIX and UniForum conferences. UniPack and UniSuit available at fine clothiers and wilderness shops in your area.

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