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Amazing new moneymaking method! (Q)
(original, smirk)

Recently our site (as were several others) were bombarded by an amazing new 
money making opportunity involving pseudo-jellybeans.  This pyramid scheme 
caused me to write a parody on this individual's post:

For fame and (especially) FORTUNE answer the following:  ABSOLUTELY NOTHING is:
   (a) an environmentally sound product that is totally recyclable and reusable.
   (b) all-natural, functionally useless product that you can't get enough of.
   (c) a money-making opportunity (buy at a discount of up to 69% OFF RETAIL).
   (d) a chance for me to make A LOT of money by getting others to do (c).
   (e) being called the "hottest opportunity EVER in Several-level integrated
       marketing entrepreneurship."
   (f) what you will get if you invest.
   (i) OTHER!

   May I have several years of your time?  I want to tell you about a Several-
Level Integrated Marketing Entrepreneur (SLIME) opportunity that is very 
exciting to me.  Now, you may already be familiar with SLIME: where I make 
profit on the products you sell AND commissions on the products sold by those 
people you sign up.  SLIME programs like those I can't think of right now
have made me more money than any other industry in history.  But the people 
who make the big bucks are the ones who concoct these schemes ... and people 
like you usually don't hear about these programs until the Feds step in.

   When a SLIME program is done "right," and when I have the chance to 
capitalize on its explosive growth before getting nailed by the IRS, Postmaster
General, Better Business Bureau, and the FBI, it can be fun and lucrative,
with unlimited financial rewards that come from making a neutral difference 
in people's lives and helping others achieve nothing.  Well, this SLIME
program IS being done right (this time), and you DO have that chance!

   What's the excitement about?  First Sucker International with an all-natural,
ecologically sound health and fitness products, including the the popular 
drool-suppressant, "Bubba Beans," has developed, and is just introducing, 
a product that has every chance of catching the public's imagination overnight:

                              ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

   "Absolutely Nothing" looks like something,
                               ... but it's not!
   This thing is going to be big and explosive. And it's just one of a very
solid, ecologicaly sound line of supplements that are functionally useless 
but nonetheless give me an opportunity to rake in the dough.  It appeals to 
the current (and destined to be on-going) concerns of the baby boomers: not 
looking like a Bolshevik weenie, and keeping up with the latest trend,
Environmental Awareness(TM).

   Just offhand, do you know anyone who is concerned about the environment
now that Earth Day has passed and Sting and Meryl Streep say "it's cool?"
Who wants to be a part of the "in crowd?"  Who has a large "line of credit?" 
Who is concerned about not wasting enough money on a "totally recyclable 
product?" Guess what?  So do I!

   ($$$$ Here's where it gets interesting! $$$$)  Right now, the company is just
STARTING its intergalactic push to establish a distribution network.  That means
there is an opportunity to be in at the proverbial "GROUND FLOOR" of what
experts predict may be the hottest SLIME program this week.

   Speaking as an entrepreneur, this is an opportunity that is almost impossible
to pass up. The "entrance fee" is low: $123.45 (plus tax, title, license,
and shipping).  You then buy the product at discount: up to 69% off retail. As 
you introduce the program to other people and they sign up, I make commissions 
and bonuses on everything that they sell and everything that the people they 
sign up sell, and everything that the people they sign up sell, etc., and you

   And THIS program is structured right: you do NOT have to inventory products;
moving up levels to deeper discounts (= bigger profits) is VERY easy; when you
gain a new level, it's TEMPORARY; etc.  Best of all, MY sponsors are marketing,
network and legal EXPERTS. They are poised and committed to help me ... because
if YOU are successful, I am successful!

   In any successful SLIME company, those people that are able to join early 
(and stupid enough to do so) can position themselves with downline structures 
that can make me rich.   It's a matter of being in the right place at the right 
time. And this could be it.  It'll take work, but if ABSOLUTELY NOTHING can 
catch the public imagination the way I believe it will, then you could be very 

   I want to be honest with you.  ABSOLUTELY NOTHING could turn out to be 
"just" a fad.  In fact, it's been likened to the "wacky wall walker." Now, 
having a piece of a "fad" like THAT I could live with!

   This is a window of opportunity that is wide open ... right now. But it
won't be open long.  Call now, operators standing by.  Offer expires twelve
hours after you call!

   There's obviously a lot more to say, but if I did, you wouldn't invest.
If you're interested and would like more information about ABSOLUTELY NOTHING,
call 1-800-555-1212, and ask for "Bubba."

   I hope to hear from you soon.

Bubba T. MacPherson
1001 Winners Circle
Sucker International
Battle Creek, MI

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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