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Saddam's Concert Tour (Mathew Shafe)
(original, chuckle)

Concert Report: Saddam Hussein - Mideast Tour

"The Mother of All Tours"

June 15, 1990       Baghdad 
August 2            Kuwait City 
August 15           Riyadh                  [CANCELED] 
August 30           Dharan                  [CANCELED] 
September 15        Mecca and Jedda         [CANCELED] 
October 1           Bahrain                 [CANCELED] 
October 15          United Arab Emirates    [CANCELED] 
October 30          Oman                    [CANCELED] 
November 14         Tehran                  [CANCELED] 
November 25         Turkey (Thanksgiving)   [CANCELED] 
December 25         Bethlehem and Israel    [CANCELED] 

For those lucky enough to see this concert in Baghdad and Kuwait, this show was a show nobody will ever forget. For the hundreds of thousands camped out to witness this concert, the 6-month wait (by far the longest ever) was worth the ordeal and lived up to its name. About every conceivable record was broken as far as concerts go, even with the tour ending prematurely.

Replied concert goers:

"They'll be cleaning up from this one for years!"
"The best laser show I've seen!"
"A little too heavy on the smoke."
"Wow, man, like the ground shook!"
"They will be writing books about this concert! A real killer!"
"Beats any `Floyd' and `Dead' concert I've been to!"

The Kuwait City concert was unprecedented: noise complaints were registered from thousands of miles away - even the U.N. complained! In an interview, Saddam Hussein replied, "I was born to be Iraq's Star." Asked about the mass migration of Kurds to Turkey and Iran, Saddam reasoned that they must be unaware of the tour's cancellation and should all go home. He promised them concert T-shirts as a token consolation.

The remainder of the tour was canceled because of various complications. For example, Saddam Hussein's roadies left after the Kuwait City gig and never returned with the instruments. A new crew is forming for a later tour, but the multi-billions invested in instruments and special effects is a significant loss. Many of the road crew members were arrested by the 500,000+ police force.

The B-52's showed up outside Baghdad and were a hit. U-2's were also nearby with their new release, "War." Obviously, timing was bad for this tour.

The group's management, "Megadeth," had no previous management experience. They even forgot to arrange food catering service for the crew.

Saddam's stunning videos seen by the entire world were also disappointing. First, the video where dressed-up Saddam is shown with children on his lap was targeted for an audience much too young - many parents demanded warning labels. Other videos featuring bruised men were simply too weird and even censored by some organizations.

Saddam's opening band, "New Kids on the Block" was also a poor choice: they went around igniting wells with vodka and trashing hotels. Alcoholic beverages are strictly forbidden in the Moslem religion.

Police arrested tens of thousands and used deadly force to surpress the crowds. Replied a promoter, "I think the 500,000+ police force was entirely unnecessary. They killed and beat people. They are a big part of the reason why the tour was canceled."

It is rumored that Saddam will get Mummar Khaddafy to play openings on the next tour. No date has been set yet because band members are still recovering from hangovers.

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