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Rice Scream, You Scream
(true, smirk)

The following was given to me by a co-worker.  This once again
proves that truth is stranger than fiction, and bad translations
are funniest of all.  This pamphlet was included in a sack of RICE.
All spacings, capitalizations, and indentations are as they were
on the pamphlet.

                        THE RICE QUIZ

What forms part of any meal across seven continents of the
world ? Well, rice, talking of quality Rice ?
Which is the best ?

Pari Brand Rice of course !

Processed and packed by SACHDEVA AND SONS, PARI
BRAND Dehraduni Basmati Rice is gleefully served on dining
tables across the world   starting from    Middle East , Gulf
Countries , E.E.C. Countries to U.S.A. and of course in
Sophisticated homes all over the world.  A top notch foreign
exchang [sic] earner, PARI RICE Exports and Sales have been
record breaking

   <drawing of globe with large arrow circling it and many hands
    below it.  They appear to be waving. >

2. Quality Confidence
Thanks for the purcase [sic] of PARI BASMATI RICE and the
confidence you have reimposed in our product.
No Rice in the world has natural Aroma as PARI BASMATI
RICE, quality wise you can judge how best in our product.
Rice in your hand is of crop year 1988-1989, just harvested,
milled and packed.  New crop Rice becomes somewhat mooshy
or may unite together but flavour, Aroma and taste is better than
old Rice.

3. Quality Rice, Thy Name is Pari
PARI STANDS FOR PURITY is processed from Paddy, grown
best qualities and varieties of Paddy seeds, Natural manure is
used in its cultivation, instead of fertilizers and chemicals
commonly used.Paddy is watered from rain,snow fed rivers of
Himalayas and mountains.
Though never a much publicised affair PARI BASMATI RICE
already is a well known brand !  Thanks to its extra-ordinary
quality borne out of..........
* Natural drying under the sun.
* Scientific double cleaning.
* Vitamins preserved in natural form.
* Fumigation to avoid insects borne infections.
* Hygienically packed in 13% moisture controlled.
  Polypropylene Bags double sealed.

  <drawing of smiling sun either rising or setting over rice paddy>

                       UNIQUE FEATURES

And on top of it,all has natural nutrition delicious taste and
easy digestibility.
PARI RICE is natural cream to white in colour, full of fragrance
and exceptionally long (6 to 8 mm) grain which grows up to 2.5
times when cooked.  Each grain remains separate and rich in

5. Imitations Galore yet Genuine is the Best.
Imitating the best is a world wide racket.  So is PARI, but locating
and prosecuting such scoundrels is a long drawn out process.
Your best protection is to buy PARI BASMATI RICE from our
genuine distributors, sub distributors and local Agents.

  < drawing of happy woman with small sack of rice, cumulous
    clouds and palm trees in background >

6. Bargain Trial Offer
Place a bargain trial order with our dealers, any quantity, be it
1 Kg, 2 kgs, 5 kgs, 10 kgs, or 20 kgs. whatsoever be your choice.
Please hurry up.
We are sure a rendervous [sic] with PARI BASMATI RICE will change
your concept of good Rice.  No wonder, if you become a PARI
addict.  We just can't help it ! It is so good and becomes your first

  < drawing of woman running towards big sack of rice sitting on
    steps of open doorway.  Framed in cumulous cloud. >

7. Sorry - Agricultural Product.
We fumigated, cleaned and recleaned so many times before
packing and more or less, READY TO COOK, but 0.001%
fraction in cleaning may be there.  As it is agricultural product, so
before cooking, go through and check it.
Sorry for inconvenience, facts we are before you.  After
purchasing our PARI RICE, please destroy, tear off all the seals
over Bag.

                         Please Don't Use



Avoid use of pressure cooker to get good results

9. Follow Cooking Instructions.

             Method of Cooking
1. Leave rice in plain water to soak for abot [sic] 25-30 minutes before
2. Rinse rice and drain off the water.
3. For every cup of rice add 6 cups of water.
4. Add salt to taste, and few drops of fresh lime juice (if possible).
5. Let rice boil for 10-15 minutes till the same become tender.
6. Drain off the excess boiled rice water in separate pan.
   You can use this water for soups as some of the vitamins and
   richness of rice will be there.
7. Please do not stir the rice at this stage.
8. Leave the pot on gentle heat for about 10 seconds with lid on till
   the rice get ready to serve
9. Take the pot off the heat.  PARI RICE are now ready to serve.

    You will find that Long grain PARI RICE after cooking become
needle like and 2 1/2 times larger than their original size and are giving
Original Dehraduni PARI Basmati Rice.

                 Sachdeva's Product

PARI BRAND est un riz basmati de qulite superieure,
produit et prepare en INDE.
Le riz PARI BRAND est cultive selson les methodes
traditionelles sans l'intervention de produits chimiques.
Seche au solcil, il garde ses vitamines et toutes ses
qualites nutrionelles.
Il possede le parfum unique du riz basmati.
A la cuisson la longueur de chaque grain de riz est
multipliee par un facteur de 2.5.  Essayez le et vous
serez convaincu de sa tres grande qualite.
Achetez uniquement les sacs doublement scelles.

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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