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Roberts, Falwell, Schuler (Michael J. Irvin, WSU)

Source: Passed to me by a colleague at the University of Idaho

Did you hear the one about the day Oral Roberts, Jerry Falwell and Robert Schuler were driving to a big "tent meeting" together? Unfortunately, they were involved in a terrible accident and all three were killed. As you might expect they all ascended into heaven and came to standing in front of the Pearly Gates. St. Peter greeted them and welcomed them to heaven. Then he started to hem and haw around and finally explained that they hadn't any advance notice of this situation and so weren't quite prepared for three so illustrious and holy men. He explained how all three of them qualified for the very finest accommodations heaven had to offer including very large and splendid mansions, but they weren't quite ready so would they mind waiting a few days?

They replied that they wouldn't mind waiting, but were they just going to have to stand there for several days? St. Peter said no, he believed he could arrange temporary quarters for them in Hell. Sometimes Satan was willing to help out in emergencies, whereupon he placed a call to Brother Satan and made the arrangements. They descended into Hell.

Noon on the fourth day after their descent St. Peter gets a frantic phone call from the Devil demanding that he remove these three guys from hell immediately. St. Peter couldn't believe his ears and asked what could possibly be wrong with these three upstanding people.

The Devil replied, "They are ruining my place down here. In less than four days Jerry Falwell has saved everybody, Oral Roberts has healed everybody, and Robert Schuler has raised enough money to air condition the whole damn place!!"

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