As a software manager in my last job, (a Seattle area company -- not Microsoft), I issued a challenge to my engineers to complete the following in 200 words or less: "I like working here because..." The winning entry by one of my engineers, (who shall remain anonymous since he's still employed by the company), is: Well, perhaps the best way to describe why I like working here is to portray a typical day at the company. It starts early in the morning, when I have to get up in the dark, pull barbed wire through my hair in an attempt to get it to lie flat, and walk through the morning drizzle to get to my car. Thankfully, my fine automobile is working this morn and starts up after 5 minutes or so. It is still pitch dark, so no one can notice the clouds of blue smoke pouring out the tail pipe. Saved from that minor embarrassment, I struggle to 7-11, where immediately, the cashier says $1.79. Grumbling, I hand him $2. On a good day I remember both my change and the things I went in there to buy. Thankfully, it's the same things every morning so little brain power is required at this juncture. Pulling out of the 7-11, I race down the street trying to beat the lights to get to work at 8:00 sharp. But alas, more often than not, the Gods of traffic light fate are against me, so I pull up into the parking lot at 8:07 (after looking for a flat spot to park since my car is holding out for better working conditions). I spot a dark figure on the second floor with binoculars and a notepad and timepiece looking down upon my ask across the parking lot in the unending drizzle. Safely inside, I trundle into my office and log into the computer. "No News" stares me in the face in the middle of my terminal blinking madly like a drunken cyclops. In anguish, I reread rec.sport.basketball for the 4th time this week, sending out more flames on subjects I've flamed twice already this week (just to keep my hand in). This being a particularly bad morning, I actually manage to flame myself twice before I realize it. Still in a desperate need for news, I resort to the last unread newsgroup: talk.politics.theory. Finally sated, I devour my brownie, and gulp down a large portion of my Big Gulp. Now the morning can begin. With a wild fling, I roll my chair over to my Sun Workstation and pop up my X window manager du jour. Now, if I could only remember which mouse combination brings up x-gammon... After a fruitless half hour, I exit back to the default terminal, thereupon noticing it was near noon. Where does the time fly? After rounding up the troops and performing a brownian motion walk, we decide on Ivars because it's closest (unless, of course, it's Friday when we observe the weekly company tradition -- good bye lunches). Returning to work promptly at 1:00 (again a dark presence can be felt somewhere from above -- luckily, the increasing drizzle makes identification difficult), I return to my notes to see what it was I was working on previously. Oh yeah, that ray tracer I left running over night is finally finished. No wonder no one can use Oracle. Oops. After grabbing a diet orange soda from the machine (the only flavor left), I wander back to my hole to see if perhaps I can get an X window menu to pop up. Logging in, I get "NFS file system not responding". What can that mean? And what's this about the net being down? And the "file system full" messages? Finally, something I can cure. Going in the local bin directory, I pop up my random delete program and let it merrily run along for about ten minutes. Now I can get to work at last. But no! It's time for the staff meeting. Stumbling in I see the shocked tired faces. I wonder to myself - perhaps they're working on the same project. Looking around, I notice several key people are missing. It makes sense to me, though, they're probably even more involved in the project. Asking around, I find they're on a conference call to the prime contractor explaining for the 4th time this week what the letters "NFS" mean. "Oh", I say, lacking the facilities to grasp such a phenomenon. Stumbling back to my office, I see it's almost time to head for home. But all is not lost. An e-mail message from off-site flaming me for an error in a post to the net arrives. Scathingly, I reply, noting a punctuation error in their post. Happily I skip up the stairs, out the door and to my car. The drizzle has stopped.
(From the "Rest" of RHF)