Scene: a glitzy TV studio. Hello there and welcome to the Saddam Hussein TV chat show. But first a word from our sponsor. Hi. Do you suffer from nerves? Then what you need is Nervo nerve gas -- guaranteed to eat away all nerves. Also removes unsightly skin, flesh, fat etc. Remember (sings excruciating jingle) Use Nervo! Welcome back. I'm Saddam Hussein, descendant of Nebuchadnezzar, God, people like that. And here's my first guest. (Cringing 6-year old is pushed in front of the cameras.) Hello, sonny. And what's your name? (Kid trembles.) Answer the question boy or you'll never see your mummy and daddy again. Johnny. JOHNNY WHAT???? J-J-Johnny Smith. Nice to have you with us, Johnny. How do you like Iraq? Tomorrow you're going to be touring our anthrax plant, just in case any wise guys think of seizing it. But one word from our other sponsor, after which I'll be back with some conjuring tricks -- I'll make the whole of Kuwait disappear in a puff of smoke, make 5,000 Kurds mysteriously vanish, and annex the Soviet Union. See you then. (More ghastly music). When you're a world leader, and you feel that the stress is catching up on you, you often feel peckish. And what better than to bite a Cosirug carpet? Adolf Hitler, Ayatollah Khomeini, Saddam Hussein, ... all of them used to bite carpets... and the carpet that real men prefer is Cosirug! (Jingle) Cosirugs, cosirugs, when life is full of bugs -- Cosirug!!
(From the "Rest" of RHF)