(Paraphrased from the British magazine "Private Eye")
There has been criticism of the government for not anticipating the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait. For the future use of diplomats here are three warning signs of possible invasion:
1) Many men in uniform with guns mass along the border of a country.
2) The leader of that country has a mustache.
3) The man with the mustache makes speeches about how the neighboring country has really belonged to his for hundreds of years.