10. Must publicly claim that Yakov Smirnoff is actually from Lithuania.
9. Stop sending the tape of the trampling of the USSR's flag to America's Funniest Home Videos.
8. Must stop holding annual "Lithium Mania" festival
7. Soviet military will be eligible for the "Dash for Cash" on the Morning Zoo.
6. Television stations must stop playing "Funky President" underneath Gorbachev's speeches.
5. Must port SYSV R2 into fp.
4. Get those damned Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles off their new flag.
3. Admit that as long as there is no food or resources they might as well stay in the Soviet Union.
2. President Landsbergis must take part in the "Barney Miller" TV reunion.
1. Invite the Red Army in to participate in joint military exercises at 2 am some morning.