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Geologic Ages and Events (Lisa Mann)

{ed From Weller's Science Made Stupid}

I got this from someone, I don't remember who, as it made its rounds via
the everpresent Xerox machine, and figured it should hit the nets.  Enjoy!

			Geologic Ages and Events

Time-BP	ERA/Epoch	Life Forms		Geologic Developments
====    =========       ==========      	=====================

5000	ATONAL		Rocks			Mountains ranges upthrust,
millions						continents form.
of years

3000	CATATONIC	Ugly green slime	Earthquakes & volcanos

        PROPHYLACTIC	Ugly green slime with	Volcanos & earthquakes
			orange spots.

------  ORTHOPEDIC      --------------------

505	Accordion	Seashells		Torrential rains

425	Pedestrian	More seashells		Thunder and lightning

360	Freudian	Slimy things		More rain

325	Artesian	Slimy things with 	More thunder & lightning

280	Pestiferous	Nasty crawly things	Rain, 40 days and 40 nights; 
						oceans form.

230	Obstreperous	Lots of nasty crawly	Rain, with intermittent 
			things			volcanos.

------  METATARSAL      ---------------------

205	Cryptic		Big warty things	Swamps form.

165	Styptic		Really big warty 	Hot, with frequent rains;
			things			drifting continents.

135	Creosote	Warty things too big;	Even hotter, with lots
			start over.		of mosquitoes.

------  CRETINOUS       ---------------------

      / Obscene		Little hairy animals.	Cooler, with a 20% chance
75   |  					of comets.
      \ Uglyscene	Big hairy animals	Windy, small continent warning.

39	Vaseline	Animals with silly-	Cold, with night and morning
			looking horns, 		glaciers.
			ridiculous teeth.

28	Listerine	Animals who don't	Fair inland, patchy fog near
			understand about	the coast.
			tar pits.

12	Ovaltine	Shree trews true shees	Warm and sunny; great weekend
			shee trees TREE SHREWS	for a barbecue.

1	Plasticine	First homonyms		Smog alert.

25000y	Recent		Modern person, first	Freeways upthrust, suburbs
			Republicans		form.

15 min	Very Recent	First computer nerds.	Fast-food chains form.

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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