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My wife and I frequent an excellent hole-in-the-wall Italian
restaurant.  They have a delicious menu but an absolutely
abysmal wine list.  Their house wine has the taste of
Styrofoam and I think they purchase their other wines from
the local 7-Eleven.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a wine connoisseur, but I know
what I don't like.

We normally apply the time honored solution to this problem
and bring in our own bottle of wine.  If we carry in a nice
BV cabernet, say, we ask the waiter what the "corking fee"
is.  This is usually a nominal two dollars.

The wine at this particular restaurant is so bad that if we
were to bring in a jug of cheap Gallo wine (you know, the
kind without a cork) it would be a vast improvement over
their normal fare.  Can you picture my wife and I inquiring
of the waiter what the "screwing fee" is?

     David Levine

I am to blame for this joke because I made it up myself.

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