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New Timesaving Peripherals (Stan Lackey)
(usenet, smirk, original)

Now announcing... a new product to save you lots of time...

                The USENET reader's keyboard!

Designed to save the reader a tremendous amount of time, it features:

   An 'n' key that is automatically pressed every 30 seconds

      Eliminates time wasted reading those long, complicated articles

      Fun while reading short ones, too!

      Timer can be set to as little as 5 seconds

   The 'F' key is present, but when depressed, actually sends an 'n'

      Saves all that time editing responses

      Prevents those annoying flames, too!

   Special Function keys

      Types IMHO, BTW, or :-) in one easy keystroke

      Switch the screen instantaneously to a techie-looking
      source listing, by pressing the "BOSS COMING" button!

Switch one of these babies for a co-worker's keyboard while he's gone.
Imagine the laughs the next time he types 'rn'!

Available for many workstations.  Just ask for quotes.  Quantity discounts
available, and highly recommended.

Clem Bone Computer Co., Inc., makers of many fine after-market computer

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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