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	"Some of these are cynical and some are sexist.  Apologies 
	if you are offended.  Enjoy the ones you find funny." 

			      MARRIAGE HUMOR 

       Mostly from ``Another Almanac of	Words at Play'', by Willard 
       Espy. 

	  + ``It doesn't much signify whom one marries,	for one	is 
	    sure to find out next morning it was someone else.''-- 
	    Rogers 

	  + ``If you are afraid	of loneliness, don't marry.''-- 
	    Chekhov 

	  + ``The most happy marriage I	can picture would be the 
	    union of a deaf man	to a blind woman.''--Coleridge 

	  + ``Were it not for imagination, sir,	a man would be as 
	    happy in the arms of a chambermaid as a duchess.''-- 
	    Dr.	 Johnson 

	  + ``If a man hears much that a woman says, she is not 
	    beautiful.''--Haskins 

	  + ``A	man does not look behind the door unless he has 
	    stood there	himself.''--Du Bois 

	  + ``A	lover tries to stand in	well with the pet dog of 
	    the	house.''--Moliere 

	  + ``Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a 
	    confusion of the real with the ideal never goes 
	    unpunished.''--Goethe 

	  + ``In matrimony, to hesitate	is sometimes to	be saved.'' 
	   --Butler 

	  + ``A	woman may very well form a friendship with a man, 
	    but	for this to endure, it must be assisted	by a little 
	    physical antipathy.''--Nietzsche 

	  + ``Men who cherish for women	the highest respect are 
	    seldom popular with	them.''	-- author unknown 

	  + ``Woman inspires us	to great things, and prevents us 
	    from achieving them.''--Dumas 

	  + ``Nature has given women so	much power that	the law	has 
	    very wisely	given them little.'' --	Dr.  Johnson 

	  + ``The great	question... which I have not been able to 
	    answer... is, "What	does a woman want?'' --Freud 

	  + ``Home life	as we understand it is no more natural to 
	    us than a cage is to a cockatoo.''--Shaw 

	  + ``Marriage is like a cage; one sees	the birds outside 
	    desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get 
	    out.'' --Montaigne 

	  + ``For a male and female to live continuously together 
	    is...  biologically	speaking, an extremely unnatural 
	    condition.''--Robert Briffault 

	  + ``Marriage is low down, but	you spend the rest of your 
	    life paying	for it.''--Baskins 

	  + A wedding is a funeral where a man smells his own 
	    flowers. 

	  + A man is not complete until	he is married--then he is 
	    finished. 

	  + Marriage is	a rest period between romances. 

	  + Marriage is	the sole cause of divorce. 

	  + Marriage is	a trip between Niagra Falls and	Reno. 

	  + Marriage is	an institution--but who wants	to live	in 
	    one? 

	  + Marriage is	the process of finding out what	kind of 
	    person your	spouse would have really preferred. 

	  + Marriage is	the triumph of imagination over 
	    intelligence.  Second marriage is the triumph of hope 
	    over experience. 

	  + Marriage is	not a word; it is a sentence. 

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