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Marriage humor

(sexual stereotypes, chuckle)

"Some of these are cynical and some are sexist. Apologies if you are offended. Enjoy the ones you find funny."


Mostly from ``Another Almanac of Words at Play'', by Willard Espy.

+ ``It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out next morning it was someone else.''-- Rogers

+ ``If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.''-- Chekhov

+ ``The most happy marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.''--Coleridge

+ ``Were it not for imagination, sir, a man would be as happy in the arms of a chambermaid as a duchess.''-- Dr. Johnson

+ ``If a man hears much that a woman says, she is not beautiful.''--Haskins

+ ``A man does not look behind the door unless he has stood there himself.''--Du Bois

+ ``A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house.''--Moliere

+ ``Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished.''--Goethe

+ ``In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.'' --Butler

+ ``A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy.''--Nietzsche

+ ``Men who cherish for women the highest respect are seldom popular with them.'' -- author unknown

+ ``Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.''--Dumas

+ ``Nature has given women so much power that the law has very wisely given them little.'' -- Dr. Johnson

+ ``The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?'' --Freud

+ ``Home life as we understand it is no more natural to us than a cage is to a cockatoo.''--Shaw

+ ``Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out.'' --Montaigne

+ ``For a male and female to live continuously together is... biologically speaking, an extremely unnatural condition.''--Robert Briffault

+ ``Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.''--Baskins

+ A wedding is a funeral where a man smells his own flowers.

+ A man is not complete until he is married--then he is finished.

+ Marriage is a rest period between romances.

+ Marriage is the sole cause of divorce.

+ Marriage is a trip between Niagra Falls and Reno.

+ Marriage is an institution--but who wants to live in one?

+ Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of person your spouse would have really preferred.

+ Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

+ Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence.

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