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                       "Twenty (sic.) Something Betters" 
                From the movie "Roxanne," starring Steve Martin. 
                 Edited from tape by Brett & Lorre Anne Carver. 
                               hplabs!hpnmd!brett 

1.   Obvious:         Excuse me.  Is that your nose or did a bus park on your 
                      face. 
2.   Meteorological:  Everybody take cover.  She's going to blow. 
3.   Fashionable:     You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore 
                      something larger.  Like ... Wyoming. 
4.   Personal:        Well, here we are.  Just the three of us. 
5.   Punctual:        Alright gentlemen.  Your nose was on time but you were 
                      fifteen minutes late. 
6.   Envious:         Oooo, I wish I were you.  Gosh.  To be able to smell your 
                      own ear. 
7.   Naughty:         Pardon me, Sir.  Some of the ladies have asked if you 
                      wouldn't mind putting that thing away. 
8.   Philosophical:   You know.  It's not the size of a nose thats important. 
                      It's what's in it that matters. 
9.   Humorous:        Laugh and the world laughs with you.  Sneeze and its 
                      goodbye Seattle. 
10.  Commercial:      Hi, I'm Earl Schibe and I can paint that nose for $39.95. 
11.  Polite:          Ah.  Would you mind not bobbing your head.  The orchestra 
                      keeps changing tempo. 
12.  Melodic:         Everybody! "He's got the whole world in his nose." 
13.  Sympathetic:     Oh, What happened?  Did your parents lose a bet with God? 
14.  Complememtary:   You must love the little birdies to give them this to 
                      perch on. 
15.  Scientific:      Say, does that thing there influence the tides. 
16.  Obscure:         Oh, I'd hate to see the grindstone. 
17.  Inquiry:         When you stop to smell the flowers, are they afraid? 
18.  French:          Say, the pigs have refused to find any more truffles 
                      until you leave. 
19.  Pornographic:    Finally, a man who can satisfy two women at once. 
20.  Religious:       The Lord giveth and He just kept on giving, didn't He. 
21.  Disgusting:      Say, who mows your nose hair. 
22.  Paranoid:        Keep that guy away from my cocaine! 
23.  Aromatic:        It must be wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell 
                      the coffee ... in Brazil. 
24.  Appreciative:    Oooo, how original.  Most people just have their teeth 
                      capped. 
25.  Dirty:           Your name wouldn't be Dick, would it? 

						Brett Carver 
						hpnmd!brett 

[Ed: This does not constitute copyright violation because A) it's a short 
excerpt, and B) this list itself is a modified version of the one 
from the play "Cyrano De Bergerac."   In any event, if you haven't, do 
go see Roxanne, and Cyrano as well. ] 

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