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I found these sentences in a book which claims that they are from actual newspaper articles:

• Great care must be exercised in tying horses to trees, as they are apt to bark.
• We do not tear your clothing with machinery; we do it carefully by hand.
• After Governor Baldridge watched the lion perform, he was taken to Main Street and fed twenty-five pounds of red meat in front of the Fox Theater.
• The Duchess handled the launching beautifully, confidently smashing the champagne against the prow. The crowd cheered as she majestically slid down the greasy runway into the sea.
• Anti-nuclear protestors released live cockroaches inside the White House Friday, and these were arrested when they left and blocked a security gate.

I worry about these people.

| Browse the Best of RHF: "General Jokes 87-89" |