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Mother Murphy's laws [rec.humor.funny]

Mother Murphy's laws

labst@unix.cc.emory.edu (seth tepfer)
(sexual, chuckle)

THE FRANKLIN FACTOR: Early to bed and early to rise means it's time to meet more guys.

THE RAT RACE: If there's one rat in a room full of nice men, he'll hit on you first.

THE EYEGLASS PRESCRIPTION: Don't wear your glasses on a blind date. You'll look better, and he will too.

THE RING RULE: A watched telephone never rings.

THE CREEP CALL: Never pick up the phone on Saturday night. It's a call from a creep you told you were busy.

THE FISHING FORECAST: They say there are lots of good fish in the sea. But who wants to go out with a fish?

THE PSYCHOLOGICAL PROGNOSIS: Love is a form of temporary insanity curable only by marriage.

THE ROPE TRICK: Give a man enough rope and he'll lasso another woman.

MIND OVER MATTER: No one ever falls in love with another person's mind at a cocktail party.

THE FAULT FINDER: The faster way to discover all your bad habits is to move in with your lover.

THE UNINTENDED RESULT: 1) Men's desire for sex sometimes results in intimacy.

2) Women's desire for intimacy often results in sex.

THE RABBIT RULE: Only newlyweds and liars make love every day.

THE DANGLE DOCTRINE: You can't keep a good man down.

TWAIN'S TRUTH: Familiarity breeds children.

THE FERTILITY FACTOR: Women are only fertile a few days each month...unless they're single.

THE PREPARATION PREDICAMENT: The longer you spend in the bathroom preparing for sex, the more likely he's fallen asleep by the time you're ready.


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