[Ed: Winner of one of the 1991 Original Comedy Awards.]
Do these guys at Radio Shack ever get on your nerves, asking you for a bunch of personal data when you're just there to buy something as simple as a couple AA batteries? I think we should inconvenience these people as much as they do us. A while ago I was in Enid buying a printer cable adaptor and the guy asked me for my name.
"Ghosseindhatsghabyfaird-johnson," I replied.
(blank look of confusion)
"How do you spell that?" he asked, obviously not wanting to know.
"With a hyphen," I clarified
"Once more?" he asked
"Could you please spell that?" he asked, glancing at the half dozen people waiting behind me.
"Oh... just like it sounds," I said nonchalantly.
Putting down "Johnson," he went on and asked about the address.
"Washburn, Wisconsin, 14701 N.E. Wachatanoobee Parkway, Complex 3, Building O, Appt. 1382b," I replied.
Almost through writing all this down, I said, "Or did you mean current address?"
Stoping, he said, (becoming irritated) "Yes. Current address."
"Diluthian Heights, Mississippi, 1372 S. Tinatonabee Avenue, Building 14C, Suite 2, Box 138201," I replied quite slowly.
Waiting until he finished I said, "No, wait, it's NORTH Tinatonabee Avenue." Annoyed, he backed up and changed it.
"I think," I interjected.
"And is all this correct?" he asked in a standard manner.
"Of course not," I replied, leaving, "If you want my REAL name and address, look at the damned credit card receipt."
A little mean, I must admit, but no jury would convict me... at least, none that had been to Radio Shack.