A Business man, while out of town, decided to play a little golf after a short work day. He did not know any golfers in this town so he decided to go out to the course and get paired up there. When he arrived there were no guys ready to play, but there was a very nice looking lady waiting for a foursome. He decided (at the suggestion of the club) to pair up with the lady. While playing the first 17 holes the two got to be real chummy, but were shooting as poor a game as either had seen in years. They were both getting very frustrated with their games. On the 18th, a par 4, the game was about to finish on a good note as they both were on in 2. When they arrived on the green, they saw that this was the worst green that either had ever seen. This green slopped away from the cup with a very rolling surface. He was about twenty-nine feet away and she twenty-six. He looked over the green and was very frustrated. He said, "If I make this shot I'll buy us dinner tonight." He hit and the ball rolled over the bump down through the grove, around the short hill, and up past the cup and slowed. Just as it looked as though he had missed the put, the slope of the green helped, and the ball rolled back into the cup. He made a great shot. Not to be outdone the lady tried to line up her shot. She said, "If I make this shot I'll invite you to my place for drinks after dinner." The guy interrupted her put saying, "Wait! Let me help you line up the shot." He walked all over the green trying to find the groove. He suddenly smiled, walked over to the ball, grabbed it up and said, "That is a gimme if I ever saw one."
"Oh," says the lady, who takes out her driver using the new grip and hits one 250 yards.
"That's good," the Pro encourages, "but try taking the club out of your mouth."
-- You fool! You almost hit my wife with that shot!
-- Sorry old chap! Here, take a shot at mine!
-- Did you hear that the board fined me $50 for hitting my wife with a 9-iron?
-- Really, for conduct unbecoming a gentleman?
-- No, for using the wrong club.
I attended a golf convention in San Diego over the winter and was somewhat interested in the result of one particular study performed on golfers, in particular, late afternoon league golfers. This study indicated that the single gentlemen who play in these leagues are "skinnier" than the married ones. The way this fact was determined was as follows: the single golfer goes out and plays his round of golf, has a "refreshment" at the 19th hole, goes home and goes to his refrigerator, finds nothing decent there, so he goes to bed. the married golfer goes out and plays his round of golf, has a "refreshment" at the 19th hole, goes home and goes to bed, finds nothing decent there, so he goes to his refrigerator...