From The Guardian newspaper, diary section, 11th October. (Diarist Andrew Moncur)
Please suspend incredulity at this point. I am merely seeking further particulars about an absent-minded biologist named Ralph. He is alleged to have been doing some research on sperm whales. This involved borrowing a whale's 9 foot long penis (preserved) from the Natural History Museum. It is further alleged that he took this item, suitably packaged, off home on the bus. When he arrive he, of course, discovered that he had left it on the bus. Forgetful, you see. So he had to go round to the lost property office and ask the attendant whether, please, he had a 9 ft penis. AND HE HAD. Can anybody fill in the details? On second thoughts I really think I'd sooner not know.