"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise"
"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant."
"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies."
"In dog years, I'm dead."
"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three
times before lying down."
"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think
that's how dogs spend their lives."
"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the
guts to bite people themselves."
"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless
absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back
from a grocery store with the most amazing haul--chicken, pork, half a
cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious
"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a
can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money."
"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have
known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons."
"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax
and get used to the idea."
--Robert A. Heinlein
"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone
should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him."
--Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan
"Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is one
of the most fond memories!"
--Dr. Tom Cat
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem."
"Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it
look like the dog did it."
"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his
"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves
"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be."
"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
--Andrew A. Rooney
"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his
life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the
last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite
you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great
"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed
contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."