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You might be a Redneck Jedi if . . . (Steve D Maurer)

And you might be a Redneck Jedi If . . .

* You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
* Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.
* You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Boone's Farm
Strawberry Hill.
* At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.
* You have bantha horns on the front of your land speeder.
* You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
* You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
* You ever lost a hand during a light saber fight because you had to spit.
* The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
* Wookies are offended by your BO
* You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you
didn't have to wait for a commercial.
* You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
* Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the'll be a hoot."
* You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock
thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.
* You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your landspeeder.
* You think Han Solo would look better in a flannel cause he looks
like a little sissy in that vest.
* You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
* You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in
through the window.
* Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt
had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.
* You ever fell in love with your sister.
* You have ever accidentally referred to Darth Vader's evil empire as
"them damn Yankees."
* You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
* You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with red wood
* You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels on the rocks during
the cantina scene.
* In your opinion, that Darth Vader fellow just "ain't right."

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