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21st Century 23rd Psalm
[posted via] UK Online Ltd
(chuckle, offense=Christians)

In these days of increasing sophistication in our language, and jargon which overflows into almost every area of our lives, we feel sure that by the year 2000 a new millennium version of the Bible will have been produced incorporating much of this modern language - perhaps it will be called the NMV New Millennium Version. and the 23rd Psalm could never be the same again - It may sound something like this...

The Lord and I are in a shepherd - sheep situation, and I am in a position of negative need

He prostrates me in a green belt grazing area, and conducts me directionally parallel to a non-torrential aqueous liquid.

He restores to original satisfaction levels my psychological make up.

Notwithstanding the fact that I make ambulatory progress through the non-illuminated inter-hill mortality slot.. terror sensations shall not be observed within me due to the proximity of the omnipotence.

Your pastoral walking aid and quadruped pickup unit introduce me into a pleasurific mood state.

You design and produce a nutrient bearing furniture type structure in the context of non-cooperative elements, and my beverage utensil experiences a volume crisis.

You enact ahead related folk ritual utilising vegetable extracts.

Surely it must be an ongoing non-deductible fact that your inter-relational, emphatical and non-vengeful capacities will pursue me as their target focus for the duration of this non death period.

And I will possess tenant rights in the housing unit of the Lord on a permanently open ended time basis.

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