We had a group project in one of my classes where our assignment was to design a plan to reduce homicides in the State of Illinois. In addition to the proposal we actually presented, we wrote up the following backup plans. ALTERNATE PLANS TO REDUCE HOMICIDE The Quarantine Plan A large percentage of homicides, other violent acts, and other anti-social behavior are committed by young males. The victims are also disproportionately young males. We propose to lock up all males between the ages of 15 and 25, thereby preventing them from committing homicide or becoming victims. The Competitive Mortality Plan It is a basic rule of epidemiology that each person can only die once. We propose to decrease homicide by increasing other causes of death. An extremely effective way to do this would be to take strong actions to increase infant mortality. Every moment that a person lives increases his or her chances of dying by homicide. All publicly funded prenatal care, immunizations, WIC (Women, Infants, and Children) programs, and other public health initiatives would be ended immediately. We will take the money that had been allocated to these programs plus the $1 million we are requesting today to fund an aggressive multi-disciplinary, multi-media, community-based, otherwise-hyphenated campaign to combat similar private initiatives and carry out the rest of our program. Since a reasonable number of children have always lived beyond infancy, we will also have to take steps to increase mortality rates in older populations. Actions which we would consider include contamination of the water and food supplies, tobacco and alcohol subsidies, taxes on health clubs, increased speed limits, and distribution of banana peels on sidewalks and stairways. The One Man March Plan We believe that given $1 million, we can all but guarantee that Mr. Charles Randall of Chicago will not be murdered, thereby reducing homicide. We plan to take him to the Bahamas and personally keep an eye on him to make sure he is ok. A significant advantage of this plan is the easy evaluation component. We will periodically walk over to Mr. Randall and say "How you doin' Chuck? Still alive?"
(From the "Rest" of RHF)