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Political Digest (Funny Guy)
(smirk, sexual, heard it, offense=almost everyone)

For whatever reason, a number of you have seen fit to send in U.S. political
one-liners recently.  It seemed appropriate to collect them.  Like other
digests, these are jokes which are funny, but which didn't really warrant
posting separately.  I post such a digest whenever I have enough entries to
warrant it.  Particularly selective readers will probably not enjoy the
digests, and may want to killfile RHF jokes with "Digest" in the title -

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From: (Stephen Platt)
Organization: NSTL
Subject: Topical: Bob Dole

And then there's the Bob Dole wind-up doll.  Wind it up and it...

...runs down.

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From: tmcguire@IC.Owatonna.MN.US (Tim McGuire)
Organization: Internet Connections, Inc.  (507) 625-7320
Subject: Old Bob Dole on MTV

Chuck Asay, ultra-conservative political cartoonist for the Colorado
Springs Gazette-Telegraph, told this one at a recent lecture entitled
"The Perimeters of Bad Taste":

Bob Dole was invited to be interviewed on MTV, much as Bill Clinton
was four years ago.  They asked him the same question:  "Do you wear
boxers or briefs?"

Dole's response:  "Depends ... "

[Note - I rejected this one twenty times before bowing to the will of the
	people... - ed]

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From: (Paul Tomblin x31515)
Subject: Dole is a bridge?

[This just occurred to me - I'm probably not the only one]

Dole last night said "I'll be your bridge".  For some reason the bridge
that comes to mind is the Tacoma Narrows Bridge.

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From: (Dr. Roger M. Firestone)
Subject: Election Web Pages

I visited the Clinton web page the other evening, and noticed that
the HTML source says <align=left>.  Nevertheless, everything on the
page appears to move to the right.

The webmaster says they will have this fixed by mid-November.

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From: (Stephen R. Balzac)
Subject: Dole and Kemp in the news

Some Republican consultant (I didn't catch exactly who) made a comment 
on the news this morning that the synergy between Dole and Kemp "isn't 
additive, like 1 plus 1.  It's more like multiplication."

What, one times one?

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From: kgoldste@UMDNJ.EDU (Kenneth Goldstein)
Subject: Chicago Politics

Heard during the Democratic National Covention (attributed to Rep. Charlie 
Rangel of NY).

"When I die, I want to be buried in Chicago so I can still be active in 

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Subject: Bill on the Stump

I heard this while listening to Lee Rogers on KSFO in San Francisco.  It
was reported as if it was news,  until the punch line.

Bill Clinton was on the campaign trail and giving a speech from the back
of his campaign train.  The crowd was cheering to his every remark,
except for one fellow in the back.   This man was heckling Bill.
Finally disgusted with Bill's speech the heckler throw a beer at the
president. Fortunately it was a draft and Bill was able to avoid it.

        =       =       =       =       =       =       =
From: (Jeffrey A. Wolfe)
Subject: You're so good at it....

A coworker and I were discussing the recent sex scandal of top Clinton aide
Dick Morris.

"What was he *thinking*?" my coworker wondered.

I replied: "Just following your lead, boss."

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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