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If Jesus was born today...
Sprynet News Service
(smirk, offense=Christians)

If Jesus was born today:

Child advocates would remove the child from the custody of his
mother when they discovered she was shacking with a guy (not the child's
father) in a barn.   In most jurisdictions that would constitute child neglect.

Of course, Mary would have an underpaid court appointed attorney to represent
her in the dependent-neglect proceeding, and Joseph would be out of luck once
it was determined that paternity could not be established within a reasonable
degree of medical certainty through blood or DNA testing. (97% probablilty
that Joe was the dad is sufficient, but absent divine intervention, that
couldn't happen, hmmm?)  He would be excluded from juvenile court as a
stranger to the proceeding and investigated for possible sexual deviance (all
those oxen and asses around), and he would be told that he had no standing to
object since he was not the natural father of the child and was not yet
married to Mary (by their own admissions they had not yet consummated their

The Division of Children and Familly Services would ask the court to order
Mary to take parenting classes, and the Court would order that homemaker
services be provided as well, since obviously Mary can't keep house properly
(the place where the DHS workers forund the child was kept remarkably like a
barn).  Mary would be allowed to have one visit with Jesus per week at the
Centers for Youth and Families.  The visit would be one hour long, and
supervised by a therapist since Jesus would no doubt be put in therapeutic
foster care to prevent psychological damage resulting from the horrible lack
of civilization to which he had been exposed at such a tender age.

At the eighteen month dispositional hearing, the court would consider
terminating parental rights because of Mary's refusal to bring a paternity
suit against Jesus' true biological father (or even to identify him to the
satisfaction of the Court). The Court would be appalled at the life choices
Mary would have made: she would have completed her marriage to Joseph (that
suspected sexual deviant) and had more children by him, which was obviously
contrary to Jesus' best interest.  Since Mary and Joseph had fled the
jurisdiction with Jesus once to escape encounters with the authorities, they
would determine that Mary and Joe had nefarious plans to abscond with the
Ward of the State to Egypt again, where they would possibly engage in
dangerous and illegal activities with him.  Parental rights would be
terminated, and Jesus would be put up for adoption.

He would be adopted by the Herods, a well-connected and politically powerful
family, who have been searching for just such a child as Jesus.  Of course,
Jesus will die in the custody of his adoptive family, because that's all they
wanted him for in the first place.  Social services will NOT have intervened
prior to his death because the state social workers could never imagine
someone as highly placed as the Herods exploiting children or torturing them
to death.  The political ramifications for the Herods would have been too
severe.  In all likelihood, the social service agencies would cover up the
death as one occurring from accident, and Herod's good name will be preserved.

The Pope will be out of work, and pagan deities will dance on the head of a

(From the "Rest" of RHF)

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