What follows are the latest entries in the one-liner file. These are jokes which are funny, but which didn't really warrant posting separately. I post such a digest whenever I have enough entries to warrant it. Particularly selective readers will probably not enjoy the digests, and may want to killfile RHF jokes with "Digest" in the title - ed. = = = = = = = From: email@example.com (Claude W. Anderson) Subject: (Original) Are there any infinite loops in this one? Bill Clinton announced his plan to re-invent government yesterday. How will he accomplish this? It's simple -- He'll use his new Al Gore ithm. = = = = = = = From: Per.Gunnar.Auran@itk.unit.no Subject: The whitehouse favourite music ? Q: "The president couple's favourite music ?" A: "Well, I guess it has to be hillbilly !" = = = = = = = From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Anthony Baxter) Subject: UN forces in Somalia Heard on radio station JJJ's breakfast show this morning: Whats the difference between the UN forces in Somalia and Teddy Kennedy? Teddy Kennedy has had one confirmed kill. = = = = = = = From: email@example.com (Kenneth A Reek) Subject: Movie Madness (original, inspired by a recent r.h.f ballad on the subject) Those who claim that seeing things in movies does not affect what people do in real life may have to reconsider their position: look at what Lorena Bobbitt did after seeing "Free Willy"... = = = = = = = From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Malor) Subject: father's day one-liner, original. Today at work, the boss wanted to know when Father's Day was. "Easy," I answered. "It's nine months before Mother's Day." = = = = = = = From: email@example.com (Brian Wessels, 226-6226) Subject: Microsoft ads Recently I've been seeing lots vague of Microsoft ads on TV, with the tag line, "Where do you want to go today?" My immediate response was, "Chicago. But I can't get there until August!" = = = = = = = From: TchrJGates@aol.com Subject: New race track in the works I just heard this one today. Sorry, I have no idea of its roots. Did you hear that Tanya Harding and Mickael Jackson are building a race track together? Tanya will take care of the handicapping and Michael will ride the three year olds. = = = = = = = From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Philip Tucker) Subject: school ties I`m glad I never went to Brown University. Brown - what a name! I went to Auburn. = = = = = = = From: email@example.com (Havoc) Subject: Real Life? A quote from my character in an online, multiplayer game: "Real Life? I've played that game. The plot stinks but the graphics are awesome." = = = = = = = From: watson@Access.Mountain.Net (Dave Watson) Subject: Pickle Definition My Own Definition: Pickle A cucumber with a substance abuse problem. = = = = = = = From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Andrew Turner) Subject: Three Old Men! Greetings all, Here is a joke (of mild, but clean, humour!) that I heard on a local radio station here in Palmerston North, New Zealand! I have no idea where it originally came from or if you all have heard/seen it before... ------------------------- 1st Old Man: Gee, its windy today. 2nd Old Man: No it's not... it's Thursday. 3rd Old Man: Yeh, me too. Let's go for a beer. ------------------------- = = = = = = = From: email@example.com (Walter Gould) Organization: Netcom Subject: The Montana Freemen confirm it . . . My son informed me tonight . . . Ryder, the overwhelming choice of anti-government activists. = = = = = = = From: firstname.lastname@example.org (.J.D.) Subject: MANIC DEPRESSION From Jay Leno: "The CDC in Atlanta Georgia announces that they've found a cure for MANIC DEPRESSION." " I don't know whether to laugh or cry !" = = = = = = = From: Michael.Newbery@vuw.ac.nz (Michael Newbery) Subject: A simple Win95 bug fix One of my staff recently dropped the following into a conversation: "Oh, I had a problem with Windows 95 but I typed FORMAT C: and it works a LOT better now." (When we recovered he went on to say he had installed NetBSD on the drive.) = = = = = = = From: Humorbear@aol.com Subject: Caveat emptor What worries me about discount airlines is when boarding a 737 I see a warning printed on the fuselage, THIS SIDE UP. = = = = = = = From: email@example.com (Stephen Jaye) Organization: Pipeline Subject: QUICK ONE From Benny Hill: a woman runs into the police station, shouting "Help- I've been graped" Desk Sgt.- "Don't you mean raped?" Woman- "There were a bunch of them!" = = = = = = = From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Dan Razvan Ghica) Subject: Jurassic joke (From Iggy W.) Q: What is a Tyranosaurus Sex? A: A big fucking dinosaur.
(From the "Rest" of RHF)
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