During a recent move, my brother and I were lugging a old cast iron stand-up penny scale out of his apartment (the kind that used to be found in front of dime stores). The neighbors, of course, found it irresistable to watch this wonderful parade of his belongings. We overheard a child ask his father what it was that we were moving and his father said "A scale." Under his breath, my brother sarcastically said "He should have told him it was a sexual aid." To which I replied "It is... It tells you exactly how far you are from getting any."
(From the "Rest" of RHF)
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