Reverend William Ignatious Green Rescue Mission 6 Finella Terrace Lindhorn Glamorgan Dear Jim, Perhaps you have heard of me and my nationwide campaign in the cause of temperance. Each year for the past fourteen, I have made a tour of Britain delivering a series of lectures on the evils of drinking. On these tours I have been accompanied by my young friend and assistant Clyde Bank. Clyde, a young man of good family and excellent background, is a pathetic example of life ruined by excessive indulgence in whisky and women. Clyde would appear with me at the lectures and sit on the platform drunk, wheezing, staring at the audience through bloodshot eyes, sweating profusely, picking his nose, belching, passing wind and making obscene gestures at the ladies, while I would point him out as an example of what over indulgence can do to a person. This summer, unfortunately, Clyde died. A mutual friend has given me your name and I wonder if you'd be available to take Clyde's place on my 1995/6 winter tour. Yours faithfully, W.I. Green Reverend.
(From the "Rest" of RHF)