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Why are Jews so smart?

dagsm@infolink.no (Dag-Erling Smoergrav)
(smirk, bigotry)

I found this joke in an french joke anthology by Herv Ngre, but
as far as I know he does not have a copyright on it /he did not
invent any of the jokes in the anthology himself, he just
collected them and edited them). Besides, I read it several years
ago, so it may differ significantly from the one in the book.

--- Joke begins here ---

An elderly man, wearing a threadbare coat with a yellow star sewn
on the lapel, is sitting alone in a train compartment. He fishes a
newspaper-wrapped packet, which he unwraps, revealing some fish
which he sets about eating, neatly replacing the bones in the
packet. When he has finished eating, he wraps the newspaper around
the bones and stuffs the packet back into his pocket.

At that moment, the train stops at a railway station and a Colonel
from the Waffen-SS enters the cab and sits down in front of the
Jew, who does not seem to react to the officer's presence. The
train starts rolling again.

Once the train has gathered som speed, the officer, satisfied that
his prey cannot escape by getting off, leans over:

- You're a Jew, aren't you? ...you know, I should have you shot on
the spot... But then again, maybe not. You see, there's something
I'd like you to tell me. What I want to know is, how come you Jews
are so damned smart?

The Jew stares at the officer and smiles knowingly. He answers:

- Well, you know - I'm not supposed to tell you this - I mean, it's
a well guarded secret among Jews.

The officer, who seems really eager to get this piece of
information, gets all excited.

- Well, look at it this way. I pay you two hundred mark, you tell
me, and I let you go and don't tell anyone you told me.

- Ah, in that case - well, what it really is, is that we eat
something that - you know - makes us smart.

- And what may that be?

- Now that really is a secret. I'm sorry, but I really can't
tell you.

- All right. I'll be generous. Let's make it four hundred mark if
you tell me what it is.

The Jew fishes out his packet again, and says:

- That's it.

By an immense effort of will, the Colonel refrains from lunging for
the packet. Instead, he says, very escitedly:

- Look. Here's what we do. I pay you eight hundre mark, you give
me the packet, I eat it and get smart, you get away, and everyone's
happy.

The Jew pockets the money and gives the officer the packet. The SS
unwraps it, and starts eating the fish bones one by one. The Jew
watches him with an amused smile. Suddenly, the officer stops
eating, stares thoughtfully at the fish bones for a few seconds,
then at the old man, then again, perplexed, at the bones, and
finally says, outraged:

- You *bastard*! You extort eight hundred mark out of me, make
me eat fish bones, make a fool out of me, and expect to get away
with it? How dare you challenge an officer of the Wehrmacht!

- You see, says the old man gently, you already are getting
smarter...

(From the "Rest" of RHF)


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