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You've Read Oedipus The King... (John Perry)
UCLA, Computer Science Department
(chuckle, literature)

Now read:

Lesser Known Sequels of the Classics

Metamorphosis II

Gregor Samsa goes through another mystical transformation, this time from a giant cockroach into a lounge singer. The few people who still felt any compassion for him are now totally repulsed, and he moves away to Vegas.

Taming of the Shrew II: Who's the Shrew?

The antics begin when Petruchio and Katherine's daughter Bianca (named after her aunt) comes of age and turns out to be quite a shrew herself. Katherine at first tries to convince her daughter that good manners are the right way, then turns back to shrewishness herself to show her daughter how unattractive it can be. This all builds to the hilarious climactic scene, where Petruchio beats them both into submission with an ax handle.

Huck Finn II

Huck has grown up and propspered as a certified public accountant. He decides he likes civilzation after all, though he never does take to wearing shoes, thus his nickname, the "barefoot bookkeeper." Jim leaves the Indians and gets his law degree, and eventually defends the King and Duke who are up on a racketeering charge.

Lysistrata II

Once again, Lysistrata convinces the women of Athens to boycott sex, this time to convince the men not to lay around and watch wrestling on Sundays. Cinesias tries to convince Myrrhine to lie with him while watching wrestling, but she teases him and then refuses. Some of the men try goats, but decide they don't like them. Eventually the men give in.

The Farther Adventures of Robinson Crusoe

Robinson Crusoe uses the money he inherited from the Brazilian plantation to start up a small cruise company. One day while taking out five passengers on a three hour tour to the Isle of Wight, a storm breaks out. He and his first mate Friday (a mighty sailing man) do their best, but lose control of the boat. Eventually, it crashes on a deserted island. The rest of the book describes the antics that occur when they almost get rescued several times, but Friday screws it up each time.

Undeath of a Salesman

Willy Loman comes back from the dead as a vampire. His hypnotic control over his customers reestablishes his life as a salesman. He convinces Biff (no relation to B1FF) to go into professional football, where he becomes a big star but loses respect for his father when he does an advertizement for nylons.

The Divine Tragedy

In this controversial sequel, Dante travels through New York City, Billings (Montana), and Salt Lake City. The controversy is over the origin. Joseph Smith claimed that Dante dictated this book to him in dreams, which literary critics have shown a lot of skepticism about.

The Bible II

Of the Dead Sea Scrolls, these were the only ones that were deliberately lost. They recount the tale of how Jesus descended back out of Heaven and became a lounge singer. Even his staunchest followers deserted him for this, and when Peter finally left he moved to Vegas and got a regular gig at the Tropicana changing water into wine.

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